Many in the work/life movement talk about how, in the end, it is the totality of your life’s accomplishments that matter.  And while work is certainly part of that it is often not the most important part.

I agree.  And I have seen it personified this week as my family is mourning a great loss for us and this community.  In fact in this nice article about my little one’s Grandpa Todd there are only 22 words out of 604 dedicated to his job…many more speak to his life.  And it is his because of how he lived his life that we have gathered and why the phone and doorbell have not stopped ringing.

————————————————————————————————————————

Lappin helped ‘Make-A-Wish’ dreams come true

He was also a leader in Milwaukee’s Jewish community

By Meg Jones of the Journal Sentinel

Posted: May 23, 2010

After Todd Lappin was diagnosed with cancer he would tell people that the kidney doctors removed was never his favorite kidney.

It was with humor and compassion that Lappin dealt with kidney cancer, attributes he used to make a difference in other lives through philanthropy and by participating in clinical trials to help scientists searching for a cure.

Lappin died Friday of a heart attack at his Mequon home. He was 70.

After Lappin was diagnosed with pulmonary lymphoma and kidney cancer in 1991 he received contributions from many friends and searched for the best way to use the donations. He chose the Make-A-Wish Foundation and became chairman of the board of the local organization.

“It just sounded like a perfect fit,” said his wife, Muriel Lappin.

Through the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Lappin met a 6-year-old boy with a brain tumor and granted his dream to visit Disney World. Muriel Lappin said the boy was so ill doctors worried he might not survive the trip, but the boy lived for six more months and bonded with Lappin.

“He had an incredible ability to touch people in a way that was very important to them,” said his son Michael Lappin.

A Duke University graduate, he ran Lappin Electric Co., a wholesale electrical supply firm started by his grandfather in 1919, until it was sold in 1997. Lappin, whose sister Sue is married to Bud Selig, was a leader in Milwaukee’s Jewish community and was president of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation and the Jewish Community Center of Greater Milwaukee.

He served on the boards of the Milwaukee Boys and Girls Club and Gilda’s Club and was chairman of the capital campaign committee of Milwaukee College Preparatory School. Lappin was president of Brynwood Country Club and was active in the American Cancer Society and the University of Wisconsin Paul P. Carbone Cancer Clinic.

Through the cancer clinic, he volunteered to participate in medical trials including one study where he was Patient No. 0001, which turned out to be an international study that resulted in FDA approval of a drug.

“It was not easy to be on that particular drug, but he was a fighter and really tried not to complain,” Muriel Lappin said.

After his cancer diagnosis in 1991, doctors removed one of his kidneys and then prepared to start chemotherapy for the pulmonary lymphoma. After further testing, a radiologist told Lappin’s doctor that the chemotherapy must have worked because he couldn’t find the lymphoma.

“And the doctor said, ‘What do you mean? He hasn’t started it yet.’ Sure enough, the lymphoma was gone,” Michael Lappin said.

The kidney cancer was in remission for about a dozen years when it metastasized. Still, Lappin stayed positive and threw himself into his charitable work.

“He never took himself too seriously even though he was dealing with a serious illness and was actually writing a journal about it, which now will have an abbreviated ending,” his wife said. “Whether he published it or not, it was with the hope it would lend some levity to someone else going through the same thing.”

Bill Appel, a close friend who went on several fund-raising trips to Israel with Lappin, said his quick wit and timing made him a popular choice to emcee events in the community.

“Part of it had to do with his involvement in the community and knowing so many people, and part of it had to do with his comedic timing,” Appel said.

Survivors include his wife, Muriel; four children, Michael, Laura, Kathy Konik and Gary; two stepchildren, Bradley Sax and Larry Chase Sax; and one sister and one brother.

I’m writing this on a day when I couldn’t be more thrilled that I choose to outsource some responsibilities.  It’s been a rough few nights with limited sleep and the cavalry arrived today at 8am.  And I was blissfully asleep and was able to stay that way for a little longer this morning.

Outsourcing is the only way I manage.  Because I simply cannot do it all and I do not want to.  That’s my secret to survival and sanity and I highly recommend it.  I’m not into the martyr thing.  I’d rather ask for help.

Many friends, colleagues, contemporaries look at me and exclaim “I don’t know how you do it.”  They’re talking about my husband’s constant and unpredictable travel schedule leaving me to tend to the home, the child and my work alone during the  week.  But the key is, he hasn’t left me to go it alone. As he and I both know how that would go and it wouldn’t be pretty.

So after two nights being up with croup and getting little, fitful sleep, I am happy to say the nanny is here early today.  I have no problem with the fact that I have a nanny.  She is not mommy.  The last two days certainly proved that.  She was there during the daytime, too, but the only one that mattered to my sick little one was me.  No guilt, no questioning if it’s the right thing, just an understanding that this is the childcare situation that works for us.

The other outsourcing I choose is housework.  Why?  Because it’s not my job alone.  And my partner in crime has his own bathroom to clean but just can’t manage to clean it and honestly just doesn’t want to.   Sorry June Cleaver, it’s not my job to pick up after him in his own space.

Why am I mentioning all this, because there is frequent debate about how women are the ones who work and still do the housework and the child rearing.  And I agree that is true to a point.  Unless of course you say, “sorry not my job” or “not my job alone.”  Because you do not have to go it alone.  Men are perfectly capable of cleaning, parenting & cooking.  They just don’t do it intuitively…it’s not something they think to do…unless you ask.

You see that discussion happened in stages in my family.  First came the house cleaner.  Once we went to a larger condo and more bathrooms, bedrooms, etc.  I declared cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting was not my job alone.  I already had a full-time job and I did not need more on my plate.  He grumbled that we didn’t need a house cleaner.  He said he’d help.  Every other week it would be his turn to clean.  And I said, “Great!” But it didn’t happen, he acknowledged he just wasn’t willing to do it, we hired a cleaner.

So it didn’t come as much of a surprise when I was pregnant that we would find a nanny.  Again we both worked and neither of us considered child rearing to be the sole responsibility of mom (except for some tasks like nursing which is exclusive to mom).  He has never questioned whether my income is enough to pay for the help.  Because it is a household expense.  We have a total combined income and out of that income there are bills to pay.  Whose income pays for what is moot.  So I also don’t buy in to the “I only work to pay childcare” debate.  It’s a household expense, you have a household income to pay those expenses, the end.

And I just don’t understand when I read the articles about how women “have” to do it all.  No we don’t.  Speak up.  Outsource.  Ask for help.  It just might be the best thing you can do for yourself, your marriage and your family.  And who knows if enough men end up doing more maybe like my husband they will simply admit that they don’t want to and then outsourcing household chores will make it into the benefits column at work.  A girl can dream.

——————————————————————————————————–

And as one who has never been taught how to manage, communicate with and forge relationships with household workers I am intrigued by this survey http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/MediationMama and a new service to help improve the relationship between household employers & workers.  Because goodness knows it is a different dynamic than the office world – some of these people spend more time in your house than you do and it becomes a more personal relationship that many have a hard time managing.

This mother’s day I want to celebrate the balance I’ve achieved.  And it is the balance within myself.  That I know I’m a good mom.  That I know I’m a good worker.  And that I whole-heartedly acknowledge many days I’m better at one than the other.   It is.  That’s my life.  It’s all good.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all.  May you struggle/juggle less today.  And may you appreciate all that you achieve each and every day more.

———————————————————————————————————–

And as for the mom-guilt crap…get over it!  I can assure you that tonight as I sit at Fenway Park at my first Red Sox game in far too long (vs. the Evil Empire!) I will be thinking neither of being a mom or being a worker-bee.  And I am so good with that!

It’s Friday and I’m in a playful mood.  I wasn’t as much last weekend.  And while I completely understand the conversation I had, it got under my skin.  I mean after all, my Dad who loved to debate people for debate’s sake once said to me “Why are you getting your graduate degree?  I mean, someday you’re going to have kids.”  Of course I rose to the challenge and was as indignant and flabbergasted as all of you would expect.  I got my point across but I’m not sure I changed his thinking.

So last weekend I’m at a very good friend’s house.  We are the same age with the same education level.  And the following fascinating line comes out of the mouth of my friend:

“Hey – so how great…you’ve got the nanny full-time but you’re not working…nice, huh?’

Now forget the fact that this business and blog takes up plenty of my time (but you know it’s a “mommy biz” – which it’s not!) and forget the consulting projects I do and get paid for…this friend of mine hasn’t pulled in a paycheck since last May.  He has been networking and meeting with people and having coffee and lunches to set up his next business deal/job.  But he isn’t what would traditionally be called “working” either.

So my response:

“Well you’re not really working either these days and you have a full-time nanny.”

His face showed his shock that I would even suggest that they get rid of the nanny while he’s doing his networking.  I mean after all his wife works out of the house.  Of course they would have a nanny.

The more things change….

Great news.  The White House will be hosting a forum on workplace flexibility on March 31.   This is great…right?

You see the problem is that the focus will be on how workplace flexibility can help families manage their work/life better.  Those with school age children, those with ailing parents.  And I agree, workplace flexibility is great for those populations.  But it’s also great for so many others.  People who want to pursue their passions.  Those who want to work, just not 50+ hours a week.  Those who are nearing retirement age and still want to keep working just not at the same pace.   Those who do not define themselves by their work/careers but strive to be whole people living fulfilled lives.

And I get it.  Especially after the week I’ve had.  After traveling for a week I came home with a cold only to be totally trumped by my daughter who contracted pneumonia.  It’s been a bit of a lost week of productivity for me.  So I get the pressures on family and work.  But I also felt those in my 20′s as I was pursuing my graduate degree (no children at the time).  And I felt them as I wanted to take time off to travel with my husband (no children at the time).  And I feel them for my mom who would like to work, but splitting her time between home in the Northeast and the lovely sunshine of Florida makes that pretty difficult.

So please let’s not do what so many other countries have.  Discriminate against those without children and ailing parents.  I would hate to see legislation that gives parents of young children the “right” to ask for more flexibility at work.  Everyone should be able to ask, present a business case, and at least be heard.  It should not matter whether you are a parent or not.

If we make more flexibility at work only about families it will be doomed to fail.    So here’s hoping next week there is great discussion on the issue.   And that the discussion includes many voices, not just those with children.

This isn’t how I planned it.  Which as anyone who has had children will know…is how it often ends up.  Once you have another living, breathing, thinking human being to consider the best laid plans often get waylaid.  And so it is for me.

I’ve been on the road a lot lately.  First dipping my toe in the crazy (at least for me) world of SXSW and then running to the much more tame and familiar ERE Expo.  Great conversations, interesting business partnership talks, cutting edge tools, techniques, strategies, wonderful friends and staying up way too late.  And in the background helping to juggle the responsibilities of a two-working-parent household.

Wow was that fun and boy was I glad that was over.  But there was more coming…or so I thought.

As I write this I thought I would be heading to an airplane to fly to Washington DC for my 2nd to last conference of the year.  The one I was really excited about.  The first Work/Life conference for me.  But it is not to be…

My husband carried the water for the house all last week and did a masterful job at remaining home when he is normally expected to be in a different city.  The whole time I was away he was the parent on call.  He was home for dinners, bedtime, cuddles, comfort.  His career is hectic and harried with lots of work and expectations.  And it pays the bills.   So this was wonderful.  I was away without a care in the world.

I knew this week would be different.  He needed to head back out on the road.  I had agreed to be on the road to attend, write about and talk about the Work/Life conference.   I put together a village to take care of home while I was away.  I would need to check in a lot, but I was ready to go for it.  Until 102 that is.

No matter how independent they start to be, or how much they want to do things themselves.  Put a sick little one near a mommy or daddy and forget it.  Nothing else will do.  And honestly at this stage in life….that’s the way it should be.  Mom and Dad are the entire world/universe/reality for that little one.  So I made a decision…it was one I had already made, I just planned to put it off for a bit.

With a fever of 102 3 days running, my little one who was more a pile of pudding in my lap, than the usual independent, testing limits preschooler we expect. So I came off the road.  I knew this day would come.  I had planned it for  later this spring.  I just thought I had one or two more conferences in me.

So my apologies to the Conference Board and all those involved in the Work/Life conference.  And my apologies to Tru USA and all those who are working to make that a really fun event.  I will not be there.

Managing work/Life is about choices.  And the right choice for my family is for me to be the home body as needed.  And I cannot control when that is needed so it is time to practice what I preach.

I blog, I promote flexible companies, I still see the need for much more flexibility in the workplace.  I will not stop working on, talking about, promoting these issues.  I will just do it close to home and not in faraway cities at conferences.  At least for now.

So I’m on vacation.  And I’m watching my little one just enjoy being…playing with toys, riding a bike for the first time, running down the sidewalk…and I think I really should chill more.    We’re in Arizona and she would desperately like to be in the pool.  But it’s 52 degrees out, so not today.  Instead of pouting she just moves on happily.  I posted my thoughts on Facebook and a male friend agreed that wives/moms should chill more.

And so I think, goodness, why can’t I do that better?  Well it could be because I bothered to open my laptop this morning.  I have a conference call so I was checking on the details of that and in the process saw an article about a study that claims that children of mothers who work full time are fatter, less healthy kids than those that work part-time or stay at home.

Ugghhh!

Here is why Moms can’t chill.  Because if we work we are compromising our children.  If we don’t we are compromising ourselves.  If we work part-time we are underemployed as well as under appreciated both at work and at home.

My husband is great and he helps a lot but if you asked him how many fruits or vegetables our little one ate in a day he would have no clear idea.  If you asked him how much TV she took in, he would know what the rules are, but not necessarily the realities.   And if you asked him to make dinner it would consist of something frozen or a pizza.  If you asked him what Dr’s appts are coming up, he would really struggle with that one and certainly not know the dates or times or even some of the Dr’s names.

Moms are working (women are now 50% of the workforce), they are attending to the children’s health, the food buying, the food preparation and they are being judged.  ‘Nuff now.  Either it’s time for other parts of society to help or quit it with the judgments and studies! Just once I would love to see a study on how Dads’ work habits, eating habits, life affect children.

Oh and did I mention today’s breakfast for me & the little one will be hotel room service.  I won’t be controlling the ingredients, etc. I will make sure to include fruit in the mix, but I’m sure it won’t be as healthy as it could be…and I’m sitting her in front of the TV at 11a as I have a conference call.   As Kathy Griffin would say:  You can suck it society.

Today’s guest post echos something I say a lot: you can have it all…just not all at once.   And I truly believe that.  I also believe that in today’s more typical two-parent working families there are choices that do need to be made for the family.  They do not have to be forever and it is probably best if they are equitable, one person sacrifices for a time, than another.   So your family and your chosen workplace need to have the flexibility to make it work.  Like Greg and his family have realized and live.

You can do anything you want in life. You just can’t do everything you want.

This sage advice was given by my father-in-law to my wife when she started medical school.  No phrase better sums up the reality of work / life choices.  Our careers and family responsibilities constantly force us to make choices on what we won’t do, in order to do the things we must or want to do.  Our progression through our careers and early family life has provided countless examples of this universal truth.

Four years ago, we felt we had reached equilibrium. Our careers were advancing, and our two boys (two and under-one at the time) seemed to be in a good routine with daycare.  We had built our dream house a year earlier, and other than lengthy commutes that made getting to daycare on time sometimes an event (though we were never late), life seemed to be moving along smoothly.  My wife was thinking of cutting back some on her work hours to spend more time with the boys, and we felt we had the financial flexibility to do so.

Then, as our eldest son was approaching his third birthday, it was becoming clear that he was not going to be ready to move to the next class in the daycare.  The local school psychologist was brought in, and what had always seemed just “developmental delay” became “autism” overnight.  Daycare was no longer an option, and we enrolled our son in an early intervention program in our public schools.

The preschool ran from 8:30 – 2:30, so we needed help after school, and cutting back that much time was not an option for my wife.  Thus, we needed to hire a nanny, an unexpected financial shock which, when combined with the costs of upcoming therapies, set back indefinitely any plans for my wife to cut back on her hours (and numerous home improvements we had planned).

After a year or so, we had recalibrated our lives and were again in a decent routine.  I took a new job at a company three hours away which required (ideally) spending a few days a week in the office.  While the travel was not ideal, it was a real growth opportunity.  Then, another of life’s little surprises came our way, as we discovered my wife was pregnant with child #3 (another boy). This unplanned event once again threw off our balance; my wife had c-sections with each child, and it would be impossible for her to watch all three boys on her own for the first few months after delivery.

So the sacrifice this time involved cutting back on my time at the office significantly, with a corresponding loss of momentum, visibility, and impact in my role.  No matter what you may hear about the growth and attractiveness of telecommuting, it is not a widely accepted practice in traditional industrial companies. Even after my wife recovered, having a house full of three boys aged five and under is not conducive to a busy travel schedule.  But we persevered, and my trips to the office settled in at an every-other-week pace.

Eventually, however, that was not enough for the company.  Times were tough, and strong, visible leadership was needed.  I was asked to spend most of my time in the office.  In return, I’d be on a rapid path to a general manager role.  The other alternative was to work out a negotiated layoff.  I only had a few days to decide in advance of the next board meeting.  While never having faced the prospect of being without a job, and knowing that my leverage in finding a new position would be slim without an existing job, I nevertheless worked out terms of my departure, as moving or spending more time away from home were not viable options given my wife’s career development and our family situation.

In the ensuring scramble to find a new position, I was fortunate to have several offers.  Knowing the realities of our work/life situation helped me keep my priorities straight.  I ended up turning down a Chief Marketing Officer role in favor of one that gave me more flexibility and a slightly shorter commute, even though the CMO position offered >50% better pay.  The deal-breaker was when I asked at the last minute for clarification of travel expectations, and was told that I’d need to spend a week per month in Europe.  While I would have loved the role, it just wasn’t viable in face of our daily realities.

In no way have I or my wife lost sight of our dreams, be it continuing to advance her academic career or running a company.  But we do know that life and careers are long, and making the right sacrifices now while continuing to build the skills, relationships, and processes we will need to be successful in the long run is the best choice we can make.  We have learned to keep “the next sacrifice” in mind, whether its on the daily decisions (who takes the sick child to the doctor) or in the face of life-changing events (a parental illness).

Greg Strosaker is a marketing executive at Mayfran International in Cleveland, Ohio.  His wife is a pediatrician at Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital, and they have three boys aged seven and younger, the oldest is autistic.  Between work, family, and marathon training, Greg still finds time to maintain the Constant Cogitation blog on marketing, strategy, leadership, productivity, parenting, and running.

Apparently I am suspiciously well balanced and lack an identity according to a quiz I took recently about whether my life was happy or interesting.  And the verdict.  It is neither.  It is somewhere in the no man’s land in between.  Now I do not put much stock in these kinds of tests.  They are often too generic to give any real meaning to people…they just give people angst.  And so I wouldn’t be thinking much about this, except that the angst already exists.  And honestly this verdict feels absolutely correct to me.

You see I was brought up in an age where it was understood you would work.  No matter your gender…you worked.  And it was wonderful to know that.  I went to college, I started a career, I got a Master’s degree, my career flourished, I was interesting and often happy.  But there were also those conversations that I was having with my girlfriends.  We talked about how you can’t have it all.  How we didn’t want to be go-go career women at the expense of time with our children.  How we would make different choices than the generation of Hilary Clinton.  We would be hybrids.  Career women with children who understand something has to give.

And in theory it sounds great, doesn’t it?  We get to fly high in careers, then we get to take a step back and embrace our children.

The problem lies in the reality.  And the crash landing from a-type, goal setting to playing Candyland.

And maybe this is just simply a case of timing.  You see the Olympics are on.  And probably the most interesting career move I ever made was to produce Opening & Closing ceremonies for the 2002 winter games for TV.  It was a challenging and very frustrating gig but man it sure was interesting.  And it followed other interesting gigs like working on Red Sox games for TV, being on the field at Fenway Park when Ted Williams came out during the ’99 All Star Game,  being a gatekeeper at the Sundance Film Festival for press pass seekers.  All super interesting, some even made me happy, others did not.

Then after all these highly interesting gigs…I took a breath and went for a trip with my husband…around the world.  Yep we took a year off, traveled the world together and we were happy and interesting.

We came home.  We settled down.  We had a baby.  And we began living the traditional American Dream.  And a few years later I’m not sure who I am anymore.  Yes I have extremely happy moments like sledding with my little one the other day in the middle of the day.  Or watching her mind work as she figures out puzzles,  or dancing in the living room with her with all my might.  And I have very interesting moments – like starting my own business and debuting it at a conference.  Like being asked to share my expertise with really smart people.   But honestly these come in fits and starts.  On a regular basis I’m not sure I’m either happy or interesting.

Because you see I’m also not a fan of getting on the floor to play cars and trucks endlessly.  And because in order to attain this hybrid life – I needed to strike out on my own and leave the corporate workforce.  So I work alone…a lot…with no companionship or collaboration.  And I’m not really sure how to think of who I am – a mom who once was a career girl who is now over-qualified for any position I may apply for, which apparently is a bad thing.

Recently I read this article about men adjusting to women being the breadwinners.  And I’ve seen many articles about whether women are happy or not.  But this is not about my gender.  This is about working and parenting and doing what is right for your family.  And I think Penelope Trunk’s original article and quiz summed it up best for me.  I have achieved a hybrid life…it’s just neither very interesting or overly happy.

Today is one of those days when I don’t have all the answers.  I have my truth and my journey.  And I’m working on it…

Today’s guest post is quite timely as I spent yesterday afternoon listening to a radio show where parents discuss how work/life stress affects kids and how that stress is somewhat self-imposed and how guilt plays into it.  It was quite a lively discussion with Ellen Galinsky, Lisa Belkin and Joshua Coleman and is definitely worth a listen.  My take is that parenting is wonderful and also very hard and also simply boring.  I try very hard not to do guilt as a parent…it’s unproductive.  And I’m lucky to have very supportive friends who understand and know the realities of parenting and are happy to be honest about it.  And I’m brutally honest about it…to the point that some would prefer I sugarcoat it.  But that only perpetuates the myth that fuels the guilt.

Now yesterday’s parents were all talking about very mundane work/life issues.  Hiring babysitters, whether to choose to work or to stay home, who does more around the house moms or dads.  Knowing today’s author personally, I’m guessing she would have welcomed those kind of mundane issues in her first year as a mother.  And I’m also guessing there are plenty of parents out there today that are away from their children as they go about their jobs in Iraq, Afghanistan, Haiti, Japan, Germany and more…that struggle with guilt.  Here’s hoping they can all learn to let go of it as Tammy Colson did:

Managing work and home are difficult for anyone. This is the story about how I learned to manage work and home while leaving the guilt behind.

I was an active duty Marine for six years. When my daughter was 3 months old, I was deployed overseas. I had signed a contract and had a job to do. It was painful, but I had no choice but to give temporary custody of my beautiful daughter to my mother for a year because my husband was also active duty, and was constantly gone. I missed a lot of things I wish I hadn’t. This was before flip cams, and the internet, which make long distance communication so easy. Not shortly thereafter, I divorced, and I was on a path to raise my daughter solo. Along the way,  I discovered some things about myself and my daughter, things that got me through the next 16 years of parenting.

I found that we could survive. It might not be pretty, it might not be easy, but babies are resilient creatures. I had to learn that I could rely on other people to protect my daughter. Just as I had to learn later that she needed to learn to protect herself. I discovered that you build networks that help create balance in your life. Friends become family, and you ask for help. The decisions I made weren’t always easy, but that year away made me realize that I was doing what needed to be done, and the best thing I could do was not feel guilty. Guilt wasn’t going to change the situation.

Raising her, there were times I wished I could have been there more. But I’m told by her, that I was there for the important things. I made mistakes, there is no manual, and you make best choice in the moment. I got babysitters so that I could go out, and I felt guilty about that, making up excuses about work to the sitter. Then it dawned on me, occasionally going out was good for me, and good for my daughter. Again, that guilt wasn’t doing us any good.

The lesson I learned that year, was that sometimes duty comes before family. And that’s okay. If you put the support in place, if you stop yourself from feeling guilty, just get the job done, and enjoy the time you have when you are done, if you realize that you don’t have to be perfect, that you just need to be present in the moment when you are there, amazingly, the kids will love you anyway.

My daughter is almost 19 years old, and she’s a good kid, despite my mistakes. I don’t feel guilty for doing what needed to be done, because the guilt never changed a thing. It just made me feel guilty.

Tammy Colson is an HR Consultant with 15 years of experience in all facets of human resources as a solo practitioner. She is available for consulting and speaking in the areas of HR and Social Media. She can be found on Twitter at @TLColson and writes at http://www.junkyardhr.com,  – Where old HR goes to Die. When not in the HR space, she is the proprietor of Southern Wine Trails, a wine and hiking experience in NC and VA http://southernwinetrails.blogspot.com/ – where she shares the beauty of the southern mountains and their wines with her clients.