I’ve been reading and am interested in the proposed legislation in New York that would give Nannies a Worker’s Bill of Rights both because I write about workplace conditions here and because I employ a Nanny. While  I do not live in New York so the legislation would not affect me, I certainly have an opinion.  But honestly we’ve heard from the bloggers, the journalists, and the moms on the issue but we have not heard much from those that it is proposed to help….the Nanny community.

So I asked my Nanny what she thought, which seemed a sensible thing to do.

Here are her details:

Juliette
30
Born & raised in the US
Professional Nanny – meaning this is what she does & wants to do for a living. Her mother & sister are also professional nannies
Some college education but college was not for her
Bright and capable
Has been in our employ 4 1/2 years

Me:  What do you think of the proposal that Nannies who work more than an 8 hour day get paid overtime – meaning time & a half?

Juliette:  (after thinking about it) I think it should be between the employer & employee to decide that.  For instance I worked for 1 family that asked if I minded working 50 hours/week.  I was happy to, and liked the extra pay.  If they had had to pay me time and half I’m not sure they would have offered me the extra work.

Juliette:  Also – what about how I used to work for you 4 days a week for 10 hours a day.  I really liked that schedule, it gave me Fridays off and I got to sleep in.  Would you have to pay me overtime even if I only worked 40 hours?

Me:  It appears that way.

Juliette:  That stinks for me (pause) and for you.

Juliette:  And what about weeks you go away?  If I was scheduled for 50 hours and you went away, would you still have to pay me overtime even though I didn’t really work that week? ==== (My family travels a lot!)

Me:  I don’t know.

Me:  Also the law would give Nannies paid vacation & sick time.

Juliette:  I already get that.

Me:  It would also mandate that I give you two weeks’ notice before firing you.

Juliette: Well, you just gave me 3 months’ notice that you could only keep me on part-time and then helped me find another family to fill in the gap.  (Long, long pause) So I don’t think I really care about this law.

Me: Yeah.

There are a million different scenarios for how nannies work and are paid in this country.  And I completely understand that workers now as in the past sometimes need protection.  But I fear the ones who need it will not get it with this law.  Juliette is an intelligent, strong-willed worker who interviewed us 4 1/2 years ago as rigorously as we interviewed her.  She does not need this law.  If she felt she was being taken advantage first she would speak up for herself and if that didn’t work she would simply find another job.  And I fear those that do need this law are mostly not in this country legally and will never complain.

I wish those who employ anyone – domestic workers, line workers, laborers, knowledge workers – would just treat others as they would like to be treated as an employee:

• Give a specific job description including what is expected during work hours and stick to it or amend it.
• Pay a fair wage.
• Vacation and sick time are part of a healthy workforce and should be paid.
• Reward good behavior.
• Punish bad behavior.
• Communicate early and often if problems/concerns arise.
• Understand those you employ do have lives outside of work and be flexible when needed.
• Do not take advantage of any worker.
• Employee US citizens or those with green cards eligible to work in this country.
• Give appropriate and honest notice of changes to work status – like reduced hours, lay offs, etc.

Any questions?

Two nights ago my little one and I were reading bedtime stories and she said “Anyhow, Mommmy, what the Hell is that?”  And I did just what most Moms I know do.  I said “Oh, honey we don’t use that word…it’s not a nice word.”  Now clearly we do use that word or she would not have.  After all kids are great at imitating what they see at home.  She then asked, “Why is it a bad word?”  And honestly I could not come up with an answer to that.

I’ve never been one for organized religion and I never really bought in to the whole Heaven and Hell concept.  I’m more of a John Lennon “Imagine” kind of thinker:  “…no Hell below us, above us only sky.”  And if you were on social media last week you would have seen this venn diagram and this chart to provide some fun entertainment.

I believe more in Karma…you reap what you sow.  If you are not nice to people and treat them poorly – sooner or later you will do so to the wrong person or to too many people and bam…Karma will get you.  That I think is a better lesson to teach than that Hell is a bad word…and a lesson that perhaps should have been taught to more C-levels and managers in the workplace.

You see in good times & bad companies have increased CEO pay, increased profits, while decreasing raises and benefits…but there was one thing they did increase…everyone’s workload.  They are thrilled the recession has come along as it makes good sense to act this way, now.  But as some reports by SHRM and by The Conference Board have indicated, this behavior started long before the recession.  The recession has just kept workers from reacting to it.  We’re starting to see some action on this front. And I, for one, am curious to see where it all will come out, after all you catch more (fire) flies with honey than vinegar.

I’m betting on Karma.  To hell with Hell.

I will never forget an experience I had while living in Utah.  For some reason a ski mountain was giving away a day free to residents – I think it was before the Olympics and they were showing off the venue ahead of the games.  Whatever the reason there was a coupon, you printed it out and you presented it at the ticket window.  As my husband and I like to ski, we partook.  When we got to the mountain there was 1 very long line.  I got in line while he took the coupons to see if we were in the right place.  Well we were and we weren’t.  There were 7 ticket windows…7!  And 3 of them were around the corner from the line with workers at the ready.  What happened was people just lined up behind the person in front of them without asking any questions…total sheep.

Now could the mountain have done a better job directing people that day?  Sure.  But could the people have done a better job taking responsibility for themselves?  Oh my goodness, yes!

And I think this may be why Human Resources departments and I don’t get along.  I am not and never have been a sheep.  And HR is often put in the position to enforce rules that I simply don’t get…like:

The workday ends at 5p:  At one company I worked for the HR guy would patrol the door between 4 and 5 and would call you out if you tried to leave before 5.  There was no consideration of whether your work for the day was done, no consideration of what you may have going on personally, there was just a rule.  I skirted it by taking long lunches on slow days to attend to personal needs…he didn’t patrol the door at the lunch hour.

Work is during the day…part-time school is at night:  Nope – I went to a graduate school that did not have part-time options.  So there were 1-4p classes and I was in them.  I bypassed HR and made a deal with my manager.  We’d go over my schedule each semester and we’d arrange for it to work.  Now the most befuddling thing about this one is that my employer who was making the rules…was also the graduate school I was attending and a benefit they they used to attract talent was tuition reimbursement!  The part of the University I worked for was very far removed from the actual day-to-day of University life, but still, how could I take advantage of the tuition benefit if I couldn’t complete a degree at night?!  Not to mention, by completing it at their school – the benefit money went right back in their pockets…befuddling.

New hires get 2-weeks vacation…unless they are upper management:  Ummm….no.  The person trying to hire me and my 15 years of experience understood why this was a ridiculous rule.  She went to HR – their hands were tied.  Hers were not.  Our deal was that I took as much vacation as needed.  We just didn’t always fill out the paperwork correctly for HR.  Now of course this can bite you if your manager leaves, and that happened here.  I had 5 managers in 3 years.  But I managed to work around the rule with all of them – as I made myself more valuable to them, than they were to me.

You can’t work part-time and also telecommute 1 day – Except I did…for 2 years…very successfully, until my employer tightened their grip on telecommuters because 1 of the many behaved badly.  Instead of firing that 1 individual, they took telecommuting off the table.  (Even though the CEO telecommuted from another country!) I took my skills off the table and moved on with my career.

And apparently being a sheep can get you killed crossing the street.  Which makes Bostonians who jaywalk constantly feel like geniuses.  Okay, we may not be geniuses but we are definitely not sheep.  Here’s hoping HR can learn how to stave off herd mentality and if not here’s hoping workers teach them how it’s done.

I’ve been following the build up, the actual convention and the aftermath of the Society of Human Resources Management’s (SHRM) recent annual convention.  I’m a skeptic.  You see a professional association that makes its money on certifying practitioners so they are well equipped to prevent lawsuits and fines for those that hire them, but does not teach the skills to actually help solve HR problems in the workplace is not exactly my cup of tea.  SHRM is not known for being cutting edge or out-of-the-box thinkers.  But this year some of the usual naysayers were not naysaying as much.  So I got a little sucked in.

Forget that China Gorman, a great listener and thinker had recently left her COO post.  Forget the fact that I don’t believe any convention can serve the needs of 11,000 people well.  Forget the fact that I just don’t get why SHRM exists – except to dole out PHR (Professional in Human Resources) and SPHR (yep – you guessed it, Senior Professional in Human Resources) certifications.  I  forgot all those facts and got sucked in by the Monster crew, the SHRM blogging group, SHRM’s new Social Media guy and my friends in the biz who attended and tweeted and blogged and vlogged from the conference.  Until…

This tweet:

@SHRM Check out the new #SHRM10 blog posts on Lebron James and celebrity approach to the worklife balance http://annual.shrm.org/blog

Seriously?!  SHRM’s having an actual conversation about work/life and blogging about it…excellent.  Cali Yost has been trying to get them to focus on and be advocates for work/life change in the corporate sphere for years.  And after last year’s SHRM conference where Jack Welch told the audience “There is no such thing as work/life balance” (for women) perhaps they learned a thing or two.

OR NOT.

I clicked the link, then I started watching the videos.  And I was stunned.   As I’m not sure what celebrities are supposed to teach us about work/life realities.  Maybe SHRM was trying for the US Magazine slant “Celebrities they’re just like us?”  Yeah, right!

• They have more people to do things than most can dream of.  Have a meeting but your kid gets sick at school?   They’ve got people.  Family coming to town and you need to clean your house & pick them up from the airport & put in a full day’s work?  They’ve got people.

• Celebrities don’t report to HR or a manager so they won’t lose their job by saying “no” to mandatory overtime on the day they need to show up in person to sign their kids up for school.

• They get paid a lot when they get paid…nope, they don’t have paid sick days…but I’m guessing it’s not a problem…they can just reschedule that show for a later date.  After all the promoter already has their fans money and has been holding it for a number of months.

• They don’t work like most of us…regularly. They have spurts where they are super busy and then long stretches where they have down time.  It’s not a M-F 9 to 5 existence – which is part of why real work/life is such a struggle.  Those are the only hours to do things like go to the Dr, have the cable company come in, see a plumber without a weekend rate surcharge.  Oh and did I mention…these people have people to help with all that!

Dear SHRM, you just had 11,000 actual hard-working professionals in one place.  Some of them have childcare issues, some have elder care issues, some have passions for art, music, etc., some just want more time for themselves.  And they gathered in San Diego – having to arrange to be away from their responsibilities during the week of your conference.  They are juggling meetings virtually, checking in with babysitters, leaving lists for their spouses and co-workers to take on extra duties.  Why on earth did you not interview them?!  Then perhaps there could have had a real discussion about work/life with HR professionals from a personal and a professional perspective.   We may have even learned a few tips & tricks that we all could benefit from.

Truly SHRM, I am once again befuddled.  For two years running your conference has had a work/life angle…just not a very  insightful or useful one.

I know many of us moms feel like our husbands aren’t quite always pulling enough weight around the house.  In fact, I think many husbands even understand and secretly acknowledge this.  But let’s celebrate how far we’ve come…

When I was a kid Father’s day included a tie, a wallet, a badly crafted ashtray from school or some present of that nature.  Then Dad hung out in the den to watch sports or headed to the golf course.  Today’s Dad is different.  My husband and most of my friends husband’s see Father’s Day as a day to ensure they spend quality time with their kids.  This can be seen through some of the gifts my friends kids will be giving their Dads on Sunday:

This is not your father’s Father’s day.  This is a new era. One where Dads find bringing up the kids to be satisfying, enjoyable and part of their jobs.  More evidence of the modern Dad emerge in the Boston College Center for Work & Family’s new study “The New Dad:  Exploring Fatherhood Within a Career Context.”  Like other studies this one highlights the changing demographics of our society:  more women are in the workforce, more women are getting advanced degrees, the rise of the dual career family.  But instead of studying it from a woman’s point of view, this study looks at if from a man’s point of view.  And it points out that more of these men are now feeling work/life conflict than their partners (men = 58% women = 45%).  And these guys are working on it.  In their own words this study explores:

When my first child was born, I was working at the law firm and there’s always an aspiration of becoming partner and the expectation of having to bring in the business, do a lot of travel…With my new job and the second child, if I was never to advance a whole lot career wise, I’d be happy because the work is good, the money is good and you know, the family is happy.” [Matt, age 37]

And I have some of my own evidence.  Recently as my extended family was gathered together for a long weekend I learned about two Dads who made interesting career decisions.  Ones that I’m sure our Fathers’ generation would find befuddling.

Dad #1 – was out of work last year and recently got some contract work at a company he had worked for previously.  He loves the work, he does a great job, but it is uncertain as it’s contract work.  After a few months the company asks Dad #1 to come on full-time.  They are thrilled with his work and want him to join them.  While he is honored and his financial life would be rosier with the job, he refuses.  It’s not the work, it’s the company culture.  He’s worked there before, he’s seen those he works with now have conflict, it’s not a very family-friendly place.  So Dad #1 explains that he’s flattered but he’d much rather continue with the arrangement they currently have.  What he doesn’t say is that he likes being home for dinner with his family, attending events his kids are part of both during the work day and after, and he even was able to drive my family to the airport and say goodbye to us during the work day.  (Thanks!)

Dad #2 – Is a consultant for a company.  He has completed a recent project and now the company wants him to replicate that project in many cities.  He’s all for it.  In February he tells the company he’s ready to get started…he urges them to move forward.  They hold meetings, they delay and now it’s June.  They’re ready for him.  He reminds them what he told them when he took the consulting gig – June-August are a travel-free zone for him.  That is when his kids are out of school for the summer and free of sports and extra-curricular activities.  He wants to maximize his time with them and their backyard pool.  He’s sorry but if they want to do this project right now…they’ve got the wrong guy.  If they can hold off until September he’d be happy to help out.

And finally an example on how Dad’s are changed from today.  My husband is still the primary breadwinner so it is understood that I take on more of the childcare duties.  That is our dual-career family agreement.  This morning he is on deadline.  So I did what needed doing: getting our little one up, dressed and off to school.  When I returned from doing so he thanked me.  I’m pretty sure I never heard my Dad thank my Mom for getting us up and off to school!  It’s a new era for Dads and work/life that I’m thrilled to celebrate this weekend.

How about you?  Do you see changes in the way Dads are dads or the way they too struggle/juggle it all?

One of the unintended consequences of this blog is that people seek me out for advice.  Now, I’m not shy and I’m happy to tell you what I think…but at the same time, I just didn’t expect that.  And if people were seeking advice from me I would expect it to be in the work/life sphere.  How to get more flexibility at work, how to get more hands to help out at home, what is workplace flexibility and how can my company implement it.  And while that is the majority.  There is a strong minority, too…of job seekers.  Looking to learn how to do this whole job search thing in 2010.

For some of them it’s been a long time since they searched for a job, 20 years or more.  They were under the impression that work would always be there, because it always had been.  In many ways they are teaching me something.  After all I’ve had 7 jobs in 20 years partly due to the uncertain nature of the industry I used to be in and partly due to the fact that I enjoy change.  So to think of working for 1 or 2 companies in twenty-thirty years is a bit befuddling to me.  Almost as befuddling as how to handle being laid off is to the group of job seekers that ask advice from me.  Fortunately for them, I have a great network of people I know.  And one of that network is Paul Geffen, who found himself in their shoes just over 1 year ago.  For the first time in his adult life he was not working…and his journey over the past year is helpful to learn from.

Here is the gist:

Get started - some people just need a bit of a nudge to start.  Or a sympathetic ear.  And understand if you start and are unhappy, adjust your approach, change something and you just might find your niche.

Network, network, network - and while you want that network to be made up of people from your industry, cast a wider net, you’ll get a richer experience.

Know your story - of course you know your story but can you communicate it well.  I’m not a fan of the word “pitch” because for me networking is more about getting to know someone and having a conversation with them about mutual topics, not “pitching” them per se.  But I know Paul and he is a great networker as well – he’s not always pitching…he’s often listening and honing what he will say so when that right person comes along – he’s ready for them.

Keep busy – it may not be making you money, but keeping busy will keep you networking, could help build your skill sets and even bring you to new skill sets.  Paul did not do community building in his last gig…but he’s gotten pretty good at it and might even want to pursue it for his next gig.

Be ready to be surprised – whether it’s that you are enjoying your freedom more than you thought or than you feel you should admit, or it’s that you actually may no longer need that income as much as you thought or you didn’t really enjoy what your were doing anyway, you’d rather try something else.  Being unemployed is a journey.  Don’t script it.  Be ready to take what comes and investigate new opportunities and skills which just may take you somewhere wonderful.

Now of course you need to update your resume and have that ready and you need to talk to friends and colleagues and let them know that you are looking and what you are looking for, but the above tips will help you weather the storm.  And maybe even learn something about more flexibility at home and at work.  Paul certainly has.

For the first time in years my husband and I are enjoying an extended time together, on vacation, no kids.  And it’s great.  There’s no talk of who’s pulling their weight around the house.  No bickering over whose turn it is to be “on” parenting-wise.  Just getting back to remembering what we always liked about each other and still do.

As a parent, I knew this week would be great for us.  And I knew it would be great for my little one.  As an only child she is used to the adult world.  She is used to putting a toy down and having it unmolested when she gets back to it.  She is used to being the center of the universe with lots of adults rushing to her aid for the simplest thing.  Not this week.

She has been spending this week with cousins.  Ranging from teenagers to 1st graders and it is no longer all about her.  And from the reports I’m hearing she is loving her independence and taking to it well.  Doing things for herself that we typically help her with at home.  Learning give and take.  Asking questions when she’s unsure.  And gaining great self-confidence.

By letting go we are strengthening our marriage, and helping our little one learn and grow.  The lessons for this in the work/life struggle juggle is by giving up some control, we are all gaining much more.  So many parents and managers in the workplace focus on “control” and “trust.”   Instead I think they should lose control and presume trust and ability of kids/workers to do it themselves – there is more to be gained than they can possibly imagine.

A year and a half ago as I started this blog I considered the terms flexibility and balance in the work/life debate.

Now, I realize it’s more complicated than just being about those two words.  There is lots of confusion and debate about what is in your employer’s control and what is personal responsibility.  So here are my new thoughts on these two terms:

Workplace flexibility.  It’s important to workers.  Whether it be to sign kids up for school, to be sure houses are drying out properly post-flooding, to skip a harried commute, to continue working despite the weather gods, or because workers have more faith in themselves than in the employer contract…flexibility at work is yearned for more and more.

And obviously this plea is being heard.  You can’t ignore that something is afoot when the White House gets in on the conversation, when hourly workers are envied for their more flexible schedules and generous benefits or when there is general malaise about time spent at work and work interfering with other interests.

More work and less play makes for bad business. So workplace flexibility is an issue today and I do believe that is the right term.  And I hope to continue to see just a general overall flexible attitude to work.  Where getting the work done is more important than when, where & how it is done.  I mean c’mon, if hourly workers can have flexibility – what’s stopping the rest of the workforce?  One thing my be the misconception that everyone wants a flexible work arrangement – which is not a one-size-fits-all-solution easily implemented at companies.  It is a more individual discussion and decision and where an individual’s personal needs and responsibilities come in.

Work/life balance.  And here is where I think some people get mixed up on what is within the workplace’s control and what is not.  You see, if you are feeling a personal imbalance because your spouse travels and someone needs to be home, but your job requires that you travel…that is not for the workplace to solve.  That is for you and your spouse to solve.  You have agreed to do this job, the job requires travel, your spouse’s job requires travel…you need to work that out.  If work asks you to come back in when you are on your way home, and you agree to do so…you should not then complain about your lack of work/life balance.  You need to instead set boundaries and expectations.  If work gives you a smartphone and you are responding to emails 24/7 of your own volition or boredom…again not your workplace’s problem.  You need to decide what works for you and manage it.  It is not the responsibility of your workplace or HR to do that for you. (Somewhere I know Kris Dunn is smiling right now.)

My thinking has grown and expanded thanks to this wonderful community, thanks to some amazing people I’ve met, thanks to just listening and asking questions at networking events and of course due to my own journey through this maze of flexibility and balance and wanting it all.

What do you think? Is your work/life stress due to your employer & rules enforced by HR or because you want it all, all at once?

It’s that time for me again.  It’s much easier for me to stay inside with the air conditioner on so I can breathe.  But that’s just not practical…nor is it the right thing to do for those around me I care about.  For my little one, the weather has just turned warm and she wants to be outside running around, riding her bike, swinging on swings.  For me, exercise is a large part of helping me monitor and manage and see clearly my work/life fit.  And while my stairmaster and I are good friends…I’d rather be biking, running, walking outside.  So I could hibernate or I could suck it up and do the right thing…which is to venture out sneezing, watering eyes and all.

Recently at an HR conference a corporate HR friend told me that corporate America is “allergic to work/life balance.”  And that rings true to me.  They would rather hibernate and wait for the issue to go away.  Personally I don’t think this issue is going away any more than the seasonal allergies I have experienced since childhood are going away.

Thankfully not all corporations feel this way.  They are in the minority but they do exist and they do the right thing for those around them. Tomorrow I’ll be listening and learning and asking questions and hoping this conversation helps workplaces learn more about how important, effective and easy it is for them to stop being “allergic” to work/life issues.  Join us!

Fem 2.0 Blog Radio- Work/life Solutions for Hourly Workers

Recently, President Obama said that all workers need the flexibility to manage the demands of a job and home and kids. But often, work-life balance is seen as a luxury only for wealthy professionals. As of 2008 some 58% of all wage and salary workers in America were paid at hourly rates. But half of all workers don’t have a single paid sick day. It doesn’t have to be this way- and some companies are doing it right.

Join us on Tuesday, April 20 at 2PM EDT to discuss worklife solutions for hourly workers. Guests Carol Evans, CEO of Working Mother Media and Donna Klein, President & Founder of Corporate Voices for Working Families will discuss the upcoming “Best Companies for Hourly Workers” survey and will share why it’s so crucial for every American worker to have flexibility, no matter what their job is. They will also share best practices from companies that are figuring out how to accommodate hourly employees and flex.

Please join us and send in your questions ahead of time to events@workingmother.com

Tune into the radio show here!

I’ve talked a lot about how the world of work is broken and the relationship between employer and employee is sadly in need of a make over.  For some a make over may not be enough…they just need to strike out on their own.  Today’s guest blog post from Meghan M. Biro talks about being an entrepreneur.  They why’s, the how’s, the balance of it all.   And why that may be the most important decision you make in business – whether as an entrepreneur or employee.

People come to this blog to hear about the new normal, to get affirmation for their conviction that working in a cube in an atmosphere of distrust is not effective, and to think about ways in which to balance life and work so that no one gets short shrift.  When Leanne asked me to contribute my thoughts on why I chose to become an entrepreneur, it was obvious that this forum is a perfect place to have the discussion. So here goes.

There are many reasons to become an entrepreneur. Maybe that cube is just too small and confining. Maybe the sense that you’re not being treated as an adult, a trusted member of a team, has eroded your trust in the benefits of conventional employment. Or maybe you just always wanted to run your own business.

I chose the path of the entrepreneur because I wanted to make a difference in my work and in my life. I was pretty much born this way. I also wanted to manage my own company, and those who joined me in the enterprise, with work-life balance as a priority. To do that requires an appetite for risk and a commitment to quality. Keeping those forces in balance has occupied most of my time in the past 12 months.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned as an entrepreneur:

§   This life is not for everyone. The costs are not just fiscal but also emotional, and they are much higher than you can anticipate and plan for.

§   While start up costs are a huge issue, quality is equally important. If you can’t commit to running a quality business – putting the business, your clients’ and your employees’ interests ahead of yours on occasion – then find a way to achieve work-life balance while working for someone else.

§   Know what work-life balance means to you. Is it time to exercise? dance? read? Time with the kids? Dinner with the whole family? These are all qualitative, not quantitative, components of work-life balance. Focus on quality and you’re on the way to work-life balance, whether you are an entrepreneur or an employee.

§   If you’ve decided you aren’t a natural entrepreneur, no harm/no foul. Refocus and look for employers with a business model that focuses on quality over quantity.

§   If you decide to be an entrepreneur, be prepared to be alone a lot of the time. You have made a choice to lead, not follow, which means you will be in front of the organization, on an uncharted path, most of the time. Find your peace in knowing you are the guide.

Work-life balance comes to us when we seek it, when we insist on it. You don’t need to be an entrepreneur to find it – you just have to be really sure about what matters most to you.

Celebrate your choices. Commit to quality. Seek balance. Rinse, repeat, and tell us how things worked out for you.

Meghan M. Biro is the founder of TalentCulture a career, branding, and  new media consulting firm focused on connecting the right people with  the right organizational culture. TalentCulture is a diverse social  community that engages in creating and sharing the latest perspectives on finding meaningful careers and using them to grow. They are focused on building a culture of innovation, awareness and understanding.  Meghan believes strongly that culture is very much a part of our careers and vice versa and included in that culture is the work/life struggle and juggle.