Yesterday I was in need of some good old escapism.  So I went to the movies.  As I perused the internet checking on movie times I debated.  I had peripherally seen bits and pieces of reviews for “Sex and the City 2″ and according to these opinions I would be failing women and Muslims if I went to see this movie. So I considered alternatives.  But when I got to the theater I went with my gut.  I really wanted to escape…and it seemed “Letters to Juliette” would be heavier than I was up for.  And “Robin Hood’s” timing was a bit off…and really I wanted to see SATC2.  And I’m glad I did.

Perhaps it’s because I am Carrie Bradshaw’s age.  Perhaps it’s because I live in a city on the East Coast and flirt part-time with living in New York. Perhaps it’s because I am actually as selfish and narcisstic as the reviews suggest I must be, but I identified with it and enjoyed it.

Conflict between career & life: I think many in this community can identify with Miranda.  She wants the great career but she also has other things going on in her life.  Always being forced to choose work causes friction at home.   She also wants to be respected at work for her abilities and she is not.  Finally, she loves working and she loves her child and she is judged harshly for wanting both.  Haven’t many of us been there?  I know I have.

The Wayback Machine: How about those 80′s flashbacks.  Oh my goodness, so funny.  Those were not really over the top.  I dressed that way, had similar hair and know so many who did as well.  While being back in the 80′s makes you cringe a little…it also made me smile.

DINKs (Double Income No Kids): As for Carrie.  There was a time when I was positive it was just going to be my husband and me.  We talked about it, we didn’t think kids were for us, we were constantly defending that choice and again being judged for it.  During that time we also made good money and had lots of disposable income.  I may have obssessed over a couch and the fabric for it for a good year plus.  It’s true.  I can identify.

Motherhood is hard: On to Charlotte.  I don’t hide in the closet and cry about motherhood.  But I’ve had my bad days…and I’ll cry right in front of you.  No guilt here.  Motherhood is hard.  I admit that freely and often have conversations with other moms who like Charlotte need a little prompting to have an honest conversation on the topic.  I am also lucky enough to have full-time childcare and I relish it.  And I have actually told my husband in the past, “Don’t make me choose between you and the nanny, you will lose.”  We were joking about something at the time…I can’t remember what, but there was also the ring of truth to the statement.  Many of my friends have said same.

Aging: I identify much less with Samantha.  Although I’m pretty sure I’ve hit peri-menopause and I’m not enjoying its effects so her portrayal of menopause is something that is clearly on my mind.

Culture clash: I’m still not sure how I feel about all the brouhaha over the ladies in the Middle East.  Yes, it was very stereotypical American bad behavior.  But I think most of us watching know that.  I also think if we are to be honest with ourselves we may have acted (at least initially) similar.  I have never been to a Muslim-dominated country where coverings are worn.  I’m sure I would be agape at sights I would see.  And I’m one of those American travelers who prides myself in learning a bit of the language first, brushing up on customs and having conversations in foreign countries with everyday citizens while staying away from the American hotel chains.  But I’m sure I would still be ill-behaved and offensive in some way…without meaning to.  And when I was back home and alone with my friends I’m sure I would talk about how “backward” it seemed to me…because that’s how it feels to me…honesty, here.  I wish I could find a middle eastern woman’s point of view on this movie.  I tried but could not – only men’s voices.  Which I do think says something about the culture.

There are other similarities like the fact that I live in Massachusetts and I have gay friends and some of them are married.  While the wedding scene was over-the-top it was funny!  And it had a ring of truth to it.  And I think that’s what I liked about this movie.  It was over-the-top to the point of unrealistic for most of us but with a ring of truth.  And it was great escapist fun.  And I thank the producers as I needed that!

Today’s guest post by Paul Geffen is a wonderful reminder…about being a whole person.  To work, to have outside interests, to learn, grow and change over time.  And it is an example of how you can find work/life happiness by turning your passions into your career.  So whether you work in engineering for a very large corporation or in marketing for non-profit focused on music your interests and your work are connected and may lead you somewhere new.

My career has at least one remarkable feature for the field I’m in.  In twenty-five years as a software engineer, from 1984 when I started at Lotus until I left IBM in 2009, I only changed employers once.

How do I explain this?

I’ve been fascinated by technology since I was a child.  I played with radios, tape recorders, and simple computers before I started high school.  At my first startup in 1971 we noticed that the RFI (radio frequency noise) from our DEC minicomputer could be heard on the radio.  We created timing loops in machine code that were tuned to specific pitches and used these to create melodies. We experimented with a simple form of electronic music.

While I’ve worked in engineering and technology since my teens, it’s only part of what I do.  The other part is my second career in music.  I’ve pursued continuing self-education in the arts.  I take my work as a musicologist seriously and make a daily investment of time and attention.  It is like a second job that has helped provide continuity and stability in my career and in my life.

Many times in my career I’ve noticed that some of the best engineers and developers were also musicians. I’ve known first-rate violinists, pianists, rock guitarists, drummers, and opera buffs — all colleagues at work on software products.  While I can find my way around a keyboard and guitar, most of my own work in the field has been collecting and cataloging recordings.  My engineering skills have helped me to create a web site that shares some of this information with the world.

My pursuit of continued education has led me to listen to nearly all the works of the major European composers.  I’ve written reviews of classical recordings and performances.  I sometimes turn pages at recitals.  Today I am the Marketing Director for the Boston Wagner Society and work with vocalists, pianists, conductors, and composers as we plan our programs and organize events.  I have been able to apply and extend many of the management skills that I developed at IBM to my work for the Wagner Society.

I find that music is a valuable complement for my engineering work.  The computer field moves very fast, and while that is stimulating, it is also unpredictable.  Music is stable and relaxing for me, both as a listener and a student of its many forms.  The history of music is long and the evolution of musical styles is gradual.  I find it truly wonderful that the best compositions of two or three hundred years ago are still performed and that we continue to find something new in them.  The field is inexhaustible.

To learn more about Paul Geffen and the link between engineering, technology and music  and social media check out his website www.trovar.com and his blog.

This will be a rant…yep a real, honest to goodness, can’t stop myself, toddler temper tantrum rant.

Workers of the world unite!  Unite and get the sort of flexibility you want in the workplace.  That is the ONLY way it will happen.  That means all generations, all genders, all races, all religions, those with children, those without children, those with grandchildren, and so on, and so on and so on.  Stop separating yourselves to advance your particular agenda at the expense of the whole.

What on earth am I talking about?

Well let’s see, there are women who are being slighted constantly.  Older workers who need to start a revolution.  Families who just can’t make work work. Younger workers who are misunderstood.   Then there was this podcast series that separated everyone from moms to dads to Latinos to seniors to…well everyone.

There are movements and conferences and isms that continually pit workers against one another.  And you know what, it’s working…the corporate work world isn’t really changing…instead they’re watching workers duke it out with each other for more attention to their particular segment of the population.

I have an idea.  How about instead we talk about the similarities in what we all seek and we work together to make it happen?  I know…crazy…right? Here goes:

We the People of the World of Work, in Order to form a more perfect Workplace, establish Justice, insure business productivity and growth, provide for ourselves, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the World of Work.

Workers Bill of Rights:

Autonomy over our schedules – whether we work hourly or are on salary

Freedom to work where and how we want as long the job gets done

Right to be treated like the adults we are

Right to have outside interests and take time for those regardless of what time of day they occur

Ability to work at the level we’ve achieved and be compensated accordingly even if we work less than 40 hours/week

Right to receive raises, promotions, and bonuses based on the merit of our work instead of on the amount of face time put in at the office

Right to ask for more flexibility at work without being discriminated against

Right to work without discrimination when we have children, have reached retirement age, are just out of college, or need to care for sick loved ones

Right to fall ill and not be financially penalized or fear for our jobs

Right to take time off for ourselves that we have earned and not be categorized as “shirkers”

This is not dictatorship but a democracy so please feel free to propose your own amendments.  I don’t think these are unreasonable…but I do think that unless we ALL work together this World of Work Constitution and Workers Bill of Rights will never be realized.

There is a very good chance at some point in your career you will find yourself rejected by an employer for being too qualified.  Or you will be considered to be a flight risk for being part of the disgruntled underemployed.  Now I say there is a very good chance because people are underemployed for a reason, either financial or due to the need for more workplace flexibility:

• There is a recession on and they didn’t plan for a rainy day, or they did and that rainy day lasted a really long time
• They have a family member: parent, child, spouse, sibling that they need to and want to care for
• They have just left college and there are no jobs out there that they are qualified for…but at the same time, they are too qualified to simply answer the phone
• They have relocated due to their spouse’s job and can find no jobs in their field
• They are older and therefore going to be retiring at some point, so it’s just easier for workplaces to prevent the pain of having to replace them at a bad time for the company and instead eliminate their position and hire someone with more updated skills and train them

So in other words if you’re young, if you’re older, if you’re middle aged, if you’re a child of someone, if you’re a parent of someone, if you’re married or have a significant other you will find yourself in this conundrum.  Even if you work in HR…you will find yourself in this conundrum.  So we can look at surveys and we can make snap judgments and we can do what is always done, discriminate against these people in the workplace…or we could use more common sense than that.

Employers:

So you want to hire people who are engaged and who are going to stay with your company and you don’t believe the “under”employed fit into this model.  I would suggest trying these steps (as one who has been underemployed very happily, and also very crankily)

1) We’re all adults – yes that’s right your employees are adults…please treat them as such.  If they are over qualified it is quite possible they will do the work faster than others may.  Don’t punish them for this.  You have hired them for a job…not to fill a chair.  If they can do that job in 30 hours instead of 40…great!  Then they have more time to exercise, be with family, run errands, live life.  They will be happy, you will have your goals met…it’s a win/win.  But if you stand over their chair at work, log their hours mentally, get annoyed by their Facebook usage and other silly details, you will lose.

2) Pay for the skills you use.  How great, they have more skills that you can utilize as the company needs.  But you know what?  You’ve entered into a business arrangement with them to accomplish tasks that require specific skills.  If you’d like to use more of skills than you asked for previously, it’s time to amend the business arrangement and compensate them accordingly.

3) Communicate openly and honestly.  It’s okay to be concerned about an overqualified employee.  But it’s not okay not to talk to them about it and get more information.  So put it on the table – at the interview stage, once hired, and on a regular basis.  This isn’t a secret.  They are overqualified.  It should be discussed in a productive, adult way.  Find out if they are unhappy…and if so why.  See if it is something that can be fixed.   Of course, there is a chance it can’t be fixed…but there is also a chance it can.

Understand that at any point in time…part of your workforce is most likely considered “under”employed.  You can either fix it…or you can ignore it and hope it goes away.

Employees:

You may be smiling after that…but now it’s your turn.  You may not be smiling soon…

1)  You are an adult.  Yep, you are.  If you are given a task to do and it is “beneath” your capabilities…oh well,  you are in that situation for a reason.  It is a choice.  You can be an adult and do your work well and on-time and celebrate the extra time you have to live life.  Or you can fill a chair, complain to co-workers and family, and become disgruntled…your choice

2) Understand what you’re selling.  You may be asked to do more, give more to your employer as you are more qualified than for the job you are doing.  But think hard about how much you’re willing to give them extra…and whether you want to give it for free or not.  Employment is a business arrangement.  If you don’t like the arrangement you have it is up to you to take some responsibility for that and either re-negotiate or say “no.”

3) Communicate open and honestly.  So you have more skills than your employer needs.  Talk about it.  Why is that?  Why are you making the choice you are making?  What do you see as the challenges and rewards to this arrangement?  And check in regularly if things aren’t working quite right.  Do not suffer in silence…or everyone loses

Understand that you will find yourself in this position more than once in your career.  The responsibility is on you to manage it well.

This isn’t rocket science people…it’s life…it shouldn’t be this hard to live it happily!

Or my alternate title “I can’t believe I’m writing this post.”  I saw the Charlie Rose interview.  I read the GMA story online and watched the clip.  I was enthralled. And then I started reading the book.  While I agree with much:

“most educated women don’t want to quit work altogether even if they could” (agreed)
“the situation is so dire that a majority of [women] will opt for less responsibility,” (agreed)
“[women] have more degrees than men do and there is an approaching talent shortage especially of educated workers,” (YES!)
“retention of valuable talent is key in tough economic times” (absolutely).

Some gave me pause:

“Women top every company’s most-wanted list” (really? – I’m not so sure)
“Businesses with more women in sr. positions make more money” (don’t think cause and effect has been proven on this one)
“we [women] have the power to demand that companies adapt to us” (hmmm…I don’t think twisting arms works very well)

And then it happened:

“I think it’s about women, even more about Gen X and Gen Y” (NO!)

So here goes:

For many the epiphany comes with motherhood -  I don’t think so, and I did a teleseminar and have many blog posts about this on my site.  Motherhood doesn’t explain Gen Y who don’t have kids yet, but both men and women in Gen Y demand more flex in their work life.  In fact they feel that work has to fit into their lives, not that their life should fit into work.  That’s a fundamental shift in thinking…and it’s not based on giving birth.  Also, how do you explain the redefinition of retirement for the boomers?  Their kids are grown up.  They don’t have to bend their work lives for kids lives but they are also changing the face of work.  And it’s all not all about economic pressure…they want to keep working.

Finally,  a recent study shows mothers make on average $11,000 less per year than their non-mom counterparts, so I’m not so sure we want that group leading the workplace revolution.  I know I am willing to make less money to get more flexibility…but that’s a personal choice, not one I want to advocate for all.

Women will lead the charge – Workplace Flexibility isn’t about women.  Read the facts and check out the real-life stories I’ve come across like Mike Owcarz who had a nice job at PCRecruiter.  Then his wife got a great opportunity in another part of the state.  He really liked his job, and he really likes his wife and so he had an issue.  He went to his employers, explained his situation, and while both parties were skeptical of how it would work, they all embarked on a flexible work arrangement so Mike’s wife could go pursue her opportunity.  That’s right – they’re Gen Y, and he changed his work situation for her…Boomer and Gen X women are amazed and very jealous! Which leads me to point #3…

Asking husbands to stay home isn’t a solution -  I think this is not a gender issue but a personality issue.  Take this  father for example.  While it doesn’t seem he was asked to stay home…he is…because it makes sense for he and his wife and their family.  The fact that there are blogs, and articles and comments on other blogs about stay-at-home dads tells me that is absolutely a solution people are turning to.

More flex at work lessens mommy “guilt” – Nope, I disagree.  Being honest with yourself and honest with each other about motherhood is the solution.  You are the only one who can let the guilt go…work can’t do that for you.  So let’s all be honest about it…it’s great that we get to go to work and don’t have time to play that 10th game of CandyLand.  Oprah recently had an episode about motherhood that was the most honest I’ve seen yet.  It got a little silly at times…but mom’s were honest with each other.  In “Womenomics” there is the anecdote about the Mom who has a baseball game to go to, but gets the plum project as she’s about to walk out the door and is racked with guilt about it.  My take is that she really wants the plum project and while she loves her kid she knows there will be another baseball game (or 500) but maybe not another project like this.  Let’s be honest that’s the problem.  We want the project.   So skip the baseball game…why not?  I’m not saying skip them all or skip the important ones, I’m saying my parents didn’t come to all my athletic events and it wasn’t that big of deal.  So let go of the guilt, it’s all within your control.

We can have it all – I agree that we can…I just don’t think parents (note, I didn’t say “women”) can have it all, all at once.  Again I think if we’re honest with ourselves we would love to be working at the same clip we did when we were younger.  Learning and growing constantly with new challenges coming to us constantly.  As a mom I simply couldn’t handle that right now…as much as I’d like to, I’d fail miserably as the mom I want to be while working at that pace.  As my child grows and changes so will the amount of professional responsibility I can take on. I look forward to all those stages yet to come!

There are no “mommy wars” – I definitely disagree on this one.  I don’t like them, I try not to participate in them, I think everyone’s choice is their own and we should celebrate the fact that we have a choice but there is a bit of a schism between stay-at-home moms and working moms.   I’m still mad at myself for letting the words “well, then again, you do work” get to me at my child’s last birthday.  You see apparently we now have to celebrate our kids birthdays multiple times instead of once like when I was a kid.  I was going to forgo the make-your-kid’s-birthday-a-big-deal-at-pre-school until another Mom I was talking to said that phrase.  I can’t believe I let it get to me and let down my guard enough to do the silly pre-school cupcake thing.  (Oh and when the cupcakes were store-bought…I heard that phrase, yet again!) So the mommy wars do exist…we just need to opt out of them if we can.

I’m glad I bought the book and I’m glad I read it.  There is a lot of great information there to use to forward the revolution for workplace flexibility.  And I certainly encourage everyone (men & women) to read it and see what they think.  But I also think changing Corporate America is a tall order…and it can’t be done by just 50.7% of the population.  It needs to be an “all hands on deck” sort of effort with people understanding each others’ needs and working together.

Guest blog post by:  Karen Corday, Information Services Specialist, Sloan Work and Family Research Network of Boston College

Leanne Chase of Career Life Connection asked me to join her in speaking at the first in a series of teleconferences from Ashley Acker of Work Style Design: Flexible Work: Stretchy Strategies for Worn Out Work. Leanne’s topic was Flexible Work: Not Just About Mommies; I shared and discussed some research on the use of flexible work by older and younger workers as well as return on investment for businesses using flexible work schedules.

In a 2007 survey by Ranstad Work Solutions, 76% of the Mature workers surveyed, born between 1900 and 1945, agreed that “Freedom to set own hours if work gets done” was appealing to them. In this survey, 74% of Boomers, 73% of Gen X, and 63% of Gen Y agreed, making Mature workers the most enthusiastic about flexible work. Furthermore, according to the 2001 Current Population Survey, 31.2% of workers aged 65 and up used flexible schedules for their primary jobs, which is nearly identical to the percentage of workers aged 25 to 34 using flexible schedules, and greater than the number of Older Gen X and Boomers using them. That data is nearly 8 years old now; older workers have been working flexibly for several years now along with workers of all ages.

Phased retirement has become a popular option for older workers, who often want to decrease their work hours and responsibilities gradually, rather than just abruptly stop working at the age of 65. According to a 2005 survey from AARP, 78% of the workers who expressed interest in a phased retirement program said the ability of this benefit would encourage them to work past retirement age. This is not just a “nice thing to do” for older workers; it cuts down on turnover costs and facilitates knowledge transfer from seasoned employees to younger workers.

Speaking of younger workers, a 2007-2008 survey by the Sloan Center on Aging & Work found that access to flexibility was on of the main drivers of engagement among Gen Y workers. Engagement refers to an employee’s connection with work that motivates them to work with “excellence,” as opposed to just getting the job done.

In 2008, PriceWaterhouseCoopers surveyed over 4,200 recent university graduates from around the world who either worked for or were about to work for them. They found that while only 3% of respondents expected to work mainly at home, 66% expected to work regular office hours with some flexible working. Keep in mind that presumably most of these workers do not yet have family responsibilities competing with their work responsibilities; they see flexible work as the way in which they want to conduct their working lives from the beginnings of their careers.

Several studies have discussed the return on investment that can result from flexible work options and other family-friendly benefits. A 2000 study by the Boston College Center for Work & Family surveyed 6 large corporations and found that 70% of managers and 87% of employees reported that working a flexible arrangement had a positive impact on productivity. Similar percentages reported positive impacts on quality of work and employee retention.

In the 2002 National Study of the Changing Workforce, 73% of employees with high availability of flexible work arrangements reported a high likelihood that they would stay with their current employer for the next year. Retaining employees translates to saving money on turnover-related costs. In a 2007 survey for Corporate Voices for Working Families, 150 senior-level executives from large corporations reported by a 9-to-1 ration that flexible work strategies had a positive effect on helping organizations reach their business goals.

FlexPaths published a report in which they interviewed executives from several organizations to establish flexibility as a human capital strategy, Real-life examples of return on investment include:
•    Ernst & Young estimated a savings of $17 million in turnover-related costs during 1997-1998, which they attribute to flexible work arrangements and a work culture that encourages both work and personal success. Ernst & Young also encourages virtual work and was able to eliminate 1 million of the 7 million square feet it rents nationwide.
•    Corning’s employee turnover numbers were cut in half after they adopted family-friendly policies such as more part-time work and job-sharing opportunities, saving them $2 million in turnover costs.
•    Aetna began allowing part-time return after family leave, saved $1 million a year in turnover costs, and cut their attrition rate by 50% over five years.

For more information on these topics, please see the Sloan Work and Family Research Network’s Topic Pages on:

•    Older Workers
•    Phased Retirement
•    Generation X/ Generation Y
•    Return on Investment

We also have several Work Flexibility Case Studies of companies that have successfully implemented flexibility into their policies and cultures.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Here is the contact information for all the speakers on the 5/11 Teleseminar along with links referenced:

There is quite a tug-of-war going on between the generations these days.  I’ve talked here about how it disappoints me that my generation hasn’t tried harder to take the reins and shape the world of work to what they want.  And recently I heard a Gen Yer blatantly asking a Boomer to step aside for their children – so their children could get jobs.

I’m not really sure how I feel.  Especially since I know that I will want to work longer than my parents did and their parents did.  I think work is something you do at one place for a while, then move on, or maybe take a break and travel, or maybe just relax for a bit, and then go back to work, again.  And I don’t think people should stop working just because they reach they reach a certain age.  After all you don’t stop thinking just because you become 65.

So I’m not sure I’m ready to push the Boomers out – I don’t want to be pushed out, so why do that to someone else?  I also definitely agree that with age comes wisdom, but I also think that with youth comes invigoration and innovation.  So what to do?  How about…do something you’ve always wanted to try in an area where your wisdom and knowledge could really help others.  It’s not a completely new idea.  After all Score has existed for a long time and has been a great help to many.  But this expands on that model.

It may not work for all – plenty of people like their jobs and just simply don’t want to leave.  But I already like the idea for me at that age.  I still regret never going into the Peace Corps – in retirement I may just have my chance!

I have pretty strong feelings about the world of work.  I make no secret about that and thankfully many of you who read this blog or have spoken to me about the mission for my website know this and are already on board with who I am.  Michael Benidt knows me and was kind enough to forward me an article that perfectly personifies why I’m doing what I’m doing…trying to change the world we work in.

Yes, I’d like to do it right now.  But tilting at windmills doesn’t work.   There needs to be a groundswell.  Then it needs to become focused and then things will change.  Articles like this and many conversations I’ve had tell me there already is a groundswell.  I’m hoping this blog can help focus the conversation and begin to change corporate America.

So what do I think about the conflict facing this Gen Yer?  I think it sucks.  I hate bait and switch in the HR world and it should not be tolerated.  My 40-something self would walk.   But I already have a resume and some savings.   Many 20-somethings do not.

So now the question becomes what would my 20-something self do?

I would not worry about my marriage.  That’s just a fact, it’s not a statement that my marriage is a fairy tale, it’s not.  There are many bumps in that road.  I just happen to know that this would not be the one to derail us.

I would stick it out until my 1-year anniversary with the company.  I’ve said that a resume doesn’t need to be a straight line up.  And I mean that.  But it also can’t be a series of short dashes.   And while sticking it out I would take some steps to get myself ready for whatever may come next:

Stay Healthy – I heard on NPR yesterday that one wealth manager, John Spooner, was practically mandating his employees to exercise. Exercise helps with stress and clarity.  Perhaps your marriage isn’t as strained as you fear, perhaps sticking with the job temporarily is doable.  I know this sounds laughable with the commute and the work schedule.  But head outside for a short walk – 20 minutes a couple of days a week may do wonders for you.

Try HR – Don’t be disgruntled and emotional – but state the facts of your concerns and ask for their help.   This is what they do for a living.

Find a Reference – Your reference for a future job does not have to be your immediate supervisor.  It can be someone who worked with you or helped supervise you on a specific project that can speak to your skills.

Investigate What’s Next – Are there more layoffs coming?  Is there any way (very discreetly) to position you to be laid off?

Listen to Others – If you’re on twitter, ask for advice.  There are lots of recruiters that hang out there.  Also, search the Internet for interesting blogs and articles on career advice that resonate with you.  This one is by no means the only one or the best one.  I read Penelope Trunk often and she really knows Gen Y. I’m sure she would also have a very strong opinion on this subject.

Network – Online or face-to-face. Once you’ve listened, start talking.  Again don’t be disgruntled and emotional.  But state what you’re looking for and how someone can help you.  You may be surprised to learn how many people are willing to help.

Check out the Temp. Market – In a bad economy that is usually the place to find work.  But this downturn is pretty extreme and it may not be a viable alternative.

Try to Breathe – This will pass and you will look back later and wonder what all the fuss was about.  (Says the old lady.)  But it really is true.  The shame is that you never realize it until much later in life. I’m sure at 20-something I was hyperventilating over these types of issues, too.

That’s my two, ten, twenty-five cents.  Now I’m throwing it out to the community.  Do you agree?  Disagree?  Either comment here or on the original blog post. This woman’s looking for advice…let’s give her some.

The boomers have not only left the White House they are starting to think about leaving the workplace.  That may be delayed due to their typically dismal ability to save for the future, but it is coming and Generation X it’s your turn to make the workplace the place you want it to be.

As an Xer I find myself resenting what Gen Y accomplished in the workplace.  But they are really not to blame, I’m just miffed that we as a generation didn’t gel and work together to get what we wanted as they have.  Clearly it’s possible and here are some things we can do in the next five years to accomplish what they have in such a short time.

Get Over It – Yeah we were the first generation with absentee parents, we’re the first generation of Americans who may not do as well financially as our parents, and we’re sandwiched between two very large generations of incredible self-promoters.   We followed the rules and continually watched those who didn’t follow the rules get raises and promotions.  It’s time to get over it.  Thankfully we’re not entering the workforce now.  We had it good.  College was semi-affordable and there were plenty of openings to go around, if you didn’t go Ivy League you could still have a great career and make a good salary, and we have grown to be more independent than most generations.

There was a research study last fall suggesting happiness is contagious.  Let’s make it our mission to be positive in the workplace and to lighten the mood and keep from tying our entire identity to our work life.  Our attitude has always been that most of life and work are not rocket science and should be seen and weighted appropriately.    I’m not saying take work lightly but also don’t feel that if you go to lunch, your work world will collapse, trust me, most of us just aren’t that important.   Let’s be realistic and optimistic.

Stop Using the Term Work Life Balance – it’s not achievable.  There will never be a true balance in those two realms.  Besides isn’t work part of life?  Start thinking in terms of flexibility.  Getting the flexibility at work to be able to take care of your personal interests and having a support system in your personal life to cover you when your work life takes higher precedence for a time.

Questioning Rules = Good, Changing Rules = Best – Gen X never liked the answer “because that’s how we’ve always done it” but we also don’t do much to change the system, except maybe opt out.   If we do change the system it’s usually not for the good of all but more secretly to make it work for you, personally.

We are poised for great change in this country.  One change is a shift to a more human approach to business and profits – a time where employees and vendors can be treated well by companies who can still turn a nice profit.  Let’s make it our mission to move that idea along by supporting and working for companies that have this approach and rejecting companies that do not.  I for one am unwilling to work for companies who don’t respect their employees enough to offer a decent benefits package and the flexibility to take care of ourselves personally.  If we all got together and refused to work for these companies they would need to change their ways.

Don’t Discount Who You Are – One of the reasons it’s so hard to achieve harmony between work life and personal life is because we’ve spent so long putting more weight on what we do instead of who we are.  It’s okay to have personal interests.  It’s okay to talk about them at work.  It’s okay to show people who you are.  It’s especially okay if you do your work well.  In my last desk job one of my fellow employees was a bird watcher.  Our office was located adjacent to some wetlands.  He brought his binoculars to work and would spot a bird, check it out with his binoculars and tell you about it.  It was nice to take a break and learn something new – just don’t do it at the expense of your work product.

Manage as You Would Like to Be Managed – As you were coming up in your career it felt good when someone really listened to you, heard you, took your suggestion, helped to make it work, and gave you the credit.   Well then pass it along.  And be sure to really listen.  Gen Y employees are some of the most innovative and creative thinkers in business in a long time.  You can learn a lot from them and they from you.  But you need to listen and think outside the box – not just give lip service.

You Can Have It All, Just Not All At Once – In the realm of being realistic… you can have a career and have time for your family.  You just might not be able to be an executive and still read bedtime stories every night.  And that’s okay.  It should be whatever works for you and your family.   Last fall I talked about the brouhaha over Michele Obama choosing to take some time to get her kids adjusted to their new lives at the White House.    I’m guessing she’ll be interested in working again in her adult life, but for her, now is not the time.

We need to educate HR professionals that it’s okay that a resume is not always a straight line and that taking care of your family does not require an apology.  As our generation takes over the VP role in HR I hope for some real change here both in HR and individual hiring managers.  After all remember the television show “Square Pegs.” Don’t we all feel like square pegs sometimes no matter how old and experienced we are.

Save For a Rainy Day – Saving for a rainy day allows you to comfortably change employers.  We’ve all seen the boomers spend their paychecks as soon as they got them and now we’ll watch them hang around the workforce longer than they or we want them to.   Not drowning in debt means you have power over your employer because you can change your career life when you want or need to.

I mean really how much stuff do you and your children need.  I saw some flabbergasting media articles around the holidays about how to tell your kids you are cutting back on Christmas spending.   I’m not saying Christmas shouldn’t be fun it just shouldn’t be as excessive as these articles suggest.  You can buy presents that are reasonable and your children will still love you.  And I’m definitely not suggesting we be miserly – the economy needs money to flow in order for it to work but there should be some middle ground between conspicuous consumption and not spending at all.

I think as a generation we’ve tried to get everyone to agree with us or complained that they don’t.  For the next 5 years, let’s embrace the difference between the Baby Boomers, Gen X and Gen Y and use our knowledge to change the workplace so that it works for all generations.   We need action, not words or we just may miss our window to end our careers on our terms.