I think I’ve fallen into a time warp. It feels like it’s the mid-90′s and I’m in grad school again. Because the conversations I’m hearing all around me are befuddling. So take a trip into the not-so-way-back machine with me, would you please?

It’s 1996. I’m a graduate student in the school of communications at Boston University and I’m working full-time for an independent television station in Boston producing live sports broadcasts. While my major is not television, I have some classes that overlap with television professors. And they are talking about what it’s like to work in television. Only it’s not like that at all. At least not in 1996 in Boston. But these are full-time professors and they used to work in television. A long time ago. They have spent the last decade or so in the much more comfortable bubble of tenured university life. The problem is they are teaching people who are headed out into the world hoping to work in the industry and they are grossly misleading them. I’m sure you all understand, I spoke up. And I’m sure you know how that was received…not well.

Well here I am again. It’s 2011 and I guess for lack of better description I am a work/life professional. I’m not even sure what that means…but I do know I’m not alone. And I’m very lucky to have worked in the human resources industry and have many smart, progressive friends there. And for a few years I’ve been trying to get them to talk with each other. The HR people because they have been letting me know that work/life is an issue they know they need to deal with. But change is scary, and it needs to be taken slowly and it needs to be well thought out and it’s still a little progressive for some of their work cultures. And I’ve been talking with the work/life pros who have great research and knowledge to help HR & C-suites make the change and have done so with a minority of employers.

And now that minority is poised to turn into a majority, and both groups want to meet each other. Articles are popping up in HR publications, workplace flexibility sessions are being added to HR conferences, and work/life consultants are swamped with work and the conversation is moving forward. Yippee, right?! Yes….but then NO!

I’ve participated in and overheard conversations between work/life pros and HR types recently and I’m cringing. It’s like the work/life pros are living in a tenured university bubble. Instead of engaging in conversation and listening (stop) (pause) (breathe) (think) (read that last part again) really listening they are in telling mode and wanting to control the conversation.

And when you’ve been trying to create a movement, sometimes it works and the movement takes over the conversation and it changes and it moves forward and it’s not quite what the founders of the movement had in mind. And they hunker down. They continue to message without input and they want to “teach” others what they have known and been working on for so long. And I’m seeing and hearing lots of disconnects and plenty of discontent.

Like last night when I was told that I couldn’t have possible worked in a results oriented work environment in the 90′s because it was not “invented” until 2004 (huh?!?!?!) and like the beginning of this week when I was asked to sugarcoat the realities of what flex can do for companies and how easy it is to do so, so it doesn’t sound too hard.

Yeah, no.

I’m the first to say that workplace flexibility is a great for business bottom lines and is also great for employees stress levels. I’m the first to question why someone in HR thinks it’s impossible to implement. But I am not going to tell them that that they are wrong and that flexibility is a magic bean that will magically make all their workers more productive and happy while their revenues grow overnight.

Nope I won’t do that.

I will have a conversation with anyone about workplace flexibility. And I will listen and hear their thoughts and concerns and I will expect them to do the same with me. In the end we may not agree but I will not tell them they are wrong or that it will be easy for them. Because I don’t walk in their shoes or do their job.

I guess I just don’t like living in a bubble. I’m much more comfortable in reality. No matter how messy and uncontrollable it is.

It was just about 3 years ago and I was considering a change. The company I was with was changing its business focus and had suddenly gone from being very flexible about my time to being nearly inflexible. My husband had just gotten a big job that would require him to be away from our family a lot and I was unsure what to do.

And then I jumped…I just took a leap. I quit my job, started this adventure and hoped to change the world.

And it is changing!!! It really is.

I started thinking the only way to change the work world to be more flexible was to talk to HR people. As I already knew this group it seemed the right place to start. Soon I learned there were wonderful organizations who had been studying the changing workforce for years and they had great research & material that could benefit those in HR and their C-suite.

I started talking to the researchers, while also talking to the HR pros. I was having similar conversations with both groups. I was translating research speak into actionable information for HR people, and explaining the many hurdles and bumps that workplace flexibility faces in a real world business scenario to the researchers. And I really wanted to get the two groups to connect. And I knew the two groups could learn greatly from each other and then we could move this flex movement forward.

And as I was shouting to be heard above the din, others were shouting as well. And our voices got louder and more cohesive and we started working together. And then it happened the researchers and the HR sphere decided to work together to help business’s bottom line, to attract and retain workers, to keep workers productive and to improve the health of the workforce.

After jumping….there are days when you feel like you’re sinking in quicksand. There are days when you are sure you will change the world. There are days when you’d really like your corporate job back along with a boss who will “tell” you what your priorities are. And there are days when you feel you have made a difference.

Today is that last one for me and I invite you to join me as I produce a webinar for HR pros about why the thinking on workplace flexibility has changed and become a competitive advantage for many. For these researchers it’s been decades in the making. For me it’s been 3 roller coaster years. And today I wouldn’t change a thing!

I went to an amazing event Wednesday night. Yes, it was filled with luminaries (Marlo Thomas, Gloria Steinem, Jane Fonda, and Gabourey Sidibe) but that was not what made it amazing. What made it amazing was that I was with people who have my back when I need it and that all around me there were extremely interesting people all highly successful in their own rights…although I’m sure some, like me, weren’t feeling it that night.

I’m in the middle of the project. It is not going as I had mapped out. On many levels it is wildly successful. On one level it is (to me) a failure.

As I sat trying to get away from that reality something really resonated. Perhaps it’s because of this project. Perhaps it’s because I was looking to connect. Perhaps it was the Women’s Media Center logo I was looking at at just that moment.

Or perhaps it’s more universal than that.

At the event we saw a screening of a documentary that had followed Jane Fonda early in her career. She was wonderfully honest telling the group that she has a really hard time watching the documentary. It is a behind-the-scenes look at the preparation for and the opening of a play she was in that flopped with a boyfriend directing her. His behavior makes her cringe, as it did the audience.

After the showing during the discussion that followed the idea of career peaks and valleys came up. Gabourey Sidibe, who is wonderfully self-possessed at the ripe young age of 22, talked of how her career thus far has only climbed. And she mentioned how watching the film reminded her that there would be valleys…and she thought Jane’s honesty now and in the film would most certainly help her through those valleys.

I was struck by the concept of career peaks & valleys. It seems to be a phenomenon that is unique to celebrities. Only it is not. Everyone has peaks & valleys in their careers. But most in the corporate sphere don’t like talking about it. Unless of course you’re applying for a job and they see an obvious valley. Then it needs to be discussed. The peaks are expected, the valleys are some kind of character flaw that you need to explain, tell what you learned and assure them it will never happen again.

And it will happen again…and it’s okay. Without valleys how would we know we’re at a peak? Without valleys when/how would we gather our strength for that climb up? It is time for colleges and corporate spheres to get real and admit that valleys happen along with the peaks. Careers are not straight lines. In fact if a resume comes through that does not have some, then perhaps something is missing in the telling of that career story. And perhaps that is what interviewers should pay attention to, instead of seeking false reassurance we will never have a valley while with their organization.

This is one of those posts where I’ve been reading, attending events, thinking and putting connections together. And sometimes my road is pretty winding…so bear with me.

Last week on a webinar I learned that 68% of the workforce is over the age of 40. That’s a pretty large group of potential job candidates.

Today I learned:

1) People over 50 are happier than those younger. My take on that is because they know what makes them happy and have decided to cut the BS.

2) That employers in my home state of Massachusetts are optimistic about the economy but 52% of them are having trouble finding qualified candidates to fill positions.

3) Sometimes you have to say no and actually want to.

Now I’m no rocket scientist or bio technician or software engineer (all jobs Mass. companies look to fill) but it doesn’t take one to see that maybe, just maybe the 68% of the workforce who is old enough to know what makes them happy and knows that sometimes no is the best answer are just not that into you as an employer.

I myself know what I want, love going after it and will happily turn down things that don’t work for me, my family and our life style. And I’m thinking I’m not alone.