I’m not sure why we have become such a black and white world.  Perhaps it’s the political climate we live in today where either “you’re with us, or you’re with the terrorists,” is tossed around.  I mean I’m all for  healthy food at school – but I also think things in moderation are best.  Apparently I am in the vast minority, at least according to this poll.

And it appears to be so in the work world as well.  The pervasive attitude is still, either you’re at your desk which apparently equals working. Or you are not and therefore you are not working.

If you ask to work from home, you must be really be “working from home” and watching Oprah and eating bon bons.

If you don’t come to the office when it’s snowing out – you are not a good worker.

No wonder we all feel out of balance.  In black or white worlds you are either in the right or in the wrong.

In this environment how are we supposed to function as decision makers?  And don’t we want workers who can make good decisions on their own in the workforce?  I mean, if we take away all fat & sugar from school how will we expect our older kids to make decent choices when actually given a choice.  We need to act like and be treated as adults.  Which means accepting that if work gets done and done well – who cares where it’s done?  If it’s snowing and someone has stayed home – who says they are shirking?  And working from home should mean just that…someone is working while at home.  Those who abuse should be punished but the rest of us should be left to live away from the black and white and in a shade of gray…without repercussions.

Because I don’t know about you but I like the occasional bout of junk food at a Superbowl party and my kid has cupcakes on her birthday..and I don’t think that needs defending.

I am raring to go today.  Which is not normally my Monday condition.  It is usually that Mondays take me a bit to get moving.  There’s the not wanting to get up in the morning and the procrastination on all fronts for what needs to be done vs. what I want to do.

What changed?

My family and I spent a weekend with lots of time together, lots of fresh air, and little technology.

I felt it was time to get my little one on skis.  So I reached out to a friend that had a condo close to a mountain near our home.   I looked into the ski school at the mountain.  I checked the weather (because while I’m a hearty New Englander there are times it’s just too cold to ski here!) and off we went.

It didn’t start off all that well.  Work kept my hubby later than I would have liked on a Friday night which meant we were smack dab in the middle of Friday night Boston rush hour traffic…headed to skiing with so many others.  So we stopped for dinner at a favorite kid’s place.  The service was slow, the merchandise for kids was abundant.  By the time we walked out of there and got back on the road, I was tired and cranky, my little one was mad because she didn’t get the toy she absolutely had to have, my hubby realized we would be on the road for his 9pm conference call and was concerned there’d be cell coverage.  I was dubious that my insistence we take this weekend together would work out as hoped but in for a penny…in for a pound.  Up to the mountains we went.

The rest of the night went smoothly including the business call and we were all in bed at a semi-reasonable hour.

Again, the next morning as the alarm went off at 7am – I was still not sure this was for me.  Why do they have to start ski school at  8:30am?  10 is a much more reasonable hour in my opinion!

But the little one was already up and getting dressed without our help.  My husband got up and did what was needed, I slept for another 1/2 hour and we got to ski school with time to spare.  And that’s when my plan finally started to work.

My husband and I had a leisurely mountain breakfast.  We took a run or two by ourselves and then checked in with ski school.  Fortunately our little one is old enough to know what is fun and likes having fun, and is beyond the years of clinging to Mommy & Daddy so she was all smiles.  And while I didn’t see great progress being made, I did see happiness, so off we went to ski in peace for the first time PK (post kids).

And it was great.  My husband and I enjoyed something we hadn’t been able to share for years.  We relaxed.  We kidded around.  We snuggled on the chairlift. He forgot about work.  I forgot about our little one and we just connected for a couple of hours.  The day was wonderful and we all exhausted ourselves such that that night was an early night for all.

The next day my little one was raring to go although a little concerned about going back to the big hill.  I assured her she did not have to do anything she did not want to…she just needed to talk to the teachers, they would listen and I assured her they wouldn’t make her do anything she wasn’t ready for.  Again, easy drop off and off hubby and I went to get away from our daily lives.  We had a great time together again.  I was a little concerned about the little one and the big hill – but I  figured I’d let the pros handle it and check in later in the day.

The next time we saw her it was time for her to go up in a chairlift for the first time!  And she was really excited!  Clearly we had conquered the big hill as we were off to the real mountain.  And as there was one teacher for 3 kids, I got to take her!  It was so much fun watching her master a new skill, and we got a glimpse of our future…the family that skis together.  At the end of the day we couldn’t stop her.  Her lesson was over but she wanted to keep skiing…so we did.  All together!

So how does this lead to more productivity?

Well my husband has been working very long hours all days of the week.  Towards the end of the day Saturday he looked at me and said, “I think this is just what I needed.”  He noted that he had been doing some of his work more than once to correct small errors and he wasn’t liking that…especially as that wasn’t the norm for him.  He felt he was too close to the work for too long.

I myself had been feeling un-balanced because there was not enough time in his busy work schedule for me & our daughter.  And was not loving my role as chief cook, bottle washer and full-time disciplinary committee.  This weekend together helped us all re-align and be ready for what gets thrown at us this week.

It was not easy convincing my husband to take the time off at a very busy time.  It was not easy schlepping up to the mountains.  But it was easy leaving our daily lives behind and the results do not lie.    We are all raring to go back to our various work  today…happily, feeling more in balance and productive!

It takes a village.  How many times have we heard that, I wonder?  I know I’ve heard it, repeated it and thought I meant it many times.  But I really didn’t.  Because we live in America.  And capitalism is often about looking out for #1.  Getting ahead, not necessarily at all costs, but certainly by putting you and yours first.

Also, I’ve been a runner much of my life.  Started when I was 12.  It was about me vs. the clock.  Sure in high school and college I was part of a team, but even on a track or cross country team it really is more about individual performance first, collective performance second for most.

So what happened last weekend was a bit mind blowing to me.

Yep, that's me at the top...frozen stiff with fear

I came across some good capitalists who had an idea.  That endurance athletic endeavors being all about you vs. the clock are, well boring, not to mention selfish.  There can be a better way.  And they have put it into place.  They put together an event where people stop, turn around, help each other out, and don’t fret (overly) about their time.  And this is not an event for the faint of heart, mind you.  My 15 foot plunge off a tower into cold water was truly breath-taking and not in a good way.  But in an invigorating way.  And the help I had climbing the tower, overcoming my fears of jumping off a perfectly well constructed tower, swimming out of the really cold water and getting warmed back up after finally getting out of that f*@#ing cold water was amazing.  As was the whole day.

Maybe it’s because I have a child now and truly without my village I could not do what I do each day (although I could use more villagers!)  Maybe it’s because I’m older now and my fastest races are behind me so who cares about time, but I don’t think so.  The people who started the Tough Mudder challenge are in their prime competing years both professionally and athletically and they have chosen this path, specifically.  And many of the participants were in their prime years for PRs as well.

So I think maybe we’re seeing a trend here.  More of a village mentality.  And if that is true I think it is a great thing for those who embrace it.  Because throughout life you will rely heavily on your village.  And if you are used to appreciating, cultivating, working within that village it will be much easier for you.  Many of us came to that realization later in our careers when we finally took a moment to have children…and had no village.

I applaud the organizers of Tough Mudder, I thank my team mates and I thank so many participants of the challenge that I will most likely never see again.  I never felt this good after a race before.  I am now and will again be one Tough Mudder and I pledge that:

* I understand it is not a race but a challenge.

* I put teamwork and camaraderie before my course time.

* I do not whine – kids whine.

* I help my fellow Mudders complete the course.

* I overcome all fears.

Perhaps if more of us pledged to uphold this motto throughout life we wouldn’t feel so stressed and unbalanced.