Losing control

For the first time in years my husband and I are enjoying an extended time together, on vacation, no kids.  And it’s great.  There’s no talk of who’s pulling their weight around the house.  No bickering over whose turn it is to be “on” parenting-wise.  Just getting back to remembering what we always liked about each other and still do.

As a parent, I knew this week would be great for us.  And I knew it would be great for my little one.  As an only child she is used to the adult world.  She is used to putting a toy down and having it unmolested when she gets back to it.  She is used to being the center of the universe with lots of adults rushing to her aid for the simplest thing.  Not this week.

She has been spending this week with cousins.  Ranging from teenagers to 1st graders and it is no longer all about her.  And from the reports I’m hearing she is loving her independence and taking to it well.  Doing things for herself that we typically help her with at home.  Learning give and take.  Asking questions when she’s unsure.  And gaining great self-confidence.

By letting go we are strengthening our marriage, and helping our little one learn and grow.  The lessons for this in the work/life struggle juggle is by giving up some control, we are all gaining much more.  So many parents and managers in the workplace focus on “control” and “trust.”   Instead I think they should lose control and presume trust and ability of kids/workers to do it themselves – there is more to be gained than they can possibly imagine.