Adjusting to a new normal…and smiling

I needed a day to take it all in.  I’m by heart a bit cynical and I wasn’t sure that a forum on flexibility under the guise of the Council on Women and Girls in the heart of the nation’s capital where laws are enacted because companies and states cannot manage to get the job done themselves would work.

I thought I’d hear a lot about women, about families, about legislation.  But I held my breath and listened.  And smiled and nodded and cheered!

Another reason I wanted to take a day, was that I wasn’t there physically.  I was scrambling to reboot my internet modem in time to hear the opening remarks (doesn’t technology only fail when you are absolutely counting on it).  I was in the middle of final negotiations on the purchase of a new home.  But mostly I was not invited.  And I wanted to see what how those that sat in the rooms had to say.

I’ve been at this for less than 2 years so I can only imagine what Ellen Galinsky was thinking after 30 years work dedicated to flexibility at work.  Thank you, Ellen, for letting us in to see your feelings, thoughts and elation.

I’ve been the only female at more events/business meetings than I can count so I know how Stew Friedman has felt for years.  Wednesday all that changed.  It may be a while before he feels that well connected to everyone in the room again…but how nice.

Morra Aarons Mele lives with the new normal more than anyone I’ve ever met.  The expectations in her house are it’s all hands on deck to work, make money, pay the bills, raise the kids.   This is the future workforce.  She has every right to want to jump for joy. Her generation constantly makes me want to jump for joy…fact.

Finally the opening of Katherine Lewis’s article is what I truly think Wednesday was all about.  This is the new normal.  And it is so freeing for all.  It’s okay to want to take care of your kids.  It’s okay to want to have a big day at work.  It’s okay to choose your family’s health first sometimes.  It doesn’t matter your age, your gender, your career.  This is life.

So I’m glad I took a day.  And I’m really glad I listened in.  Because here is what I heard and it is all a major change in the world of work.

Trust, open communication, accessibility.  Those three themes were talked about again and again.   I mean if you don’t trust your workforce to do the job, why did you hire them?  And if you don’t trust that they can solve problems for your company why are you paying them?  The fact that so many business leaders talked about how flexibility solutions came about at their company because the workers were given “permission” to solve them themselves was wonderful.    Hearing about how employees came up with ways to schedule shifts, cover each other, make sure the work gets done without management solving it for them should be an eye opener to businesses.  Just because you’re the manager doesn’t mean you need to solve it.  You need to hire the right people and help them to solve it for you.  And be there to encourage, assist and listen.

There is no one size fits all solution.  Which I know disappoints companies.  It would be easier to pass one law, put together a workplace flexibility survival kit that works for every HR dept., come up with a company policy to cover all.  It’s just not going to happen.  Sorry.

It’s not about families.  It’s about people.  And people are very individual as are their needs for flexibility.  It’s about furthering education, following passions, being with family and friends, helping others and this is important…being a whole person.  As President Obama said so well.  Work is what you do…not who you are.

Flexibility is for all employees – not a benefit to some.  There is a difference between formal flexible work arrangements which are to be negotiated and basic common sense.  Life happens before, during and after work…and companies who understand that and can be flexible as needed get back so much more from their employees in productivity, loyalty and profits.

Finally I felt a bit of a burden lifted from women’s shoulders.  You see it really isn’t about women.  But I feel like for most of my life it has been on women’s shoulders to make it all work.  We needed to have careers or we weren’t feminist enough, and while having careers we needed to raise our children, and then our parents came by and asked us to be there as needed – and we were needed more than we could have imagined, and if we weren’t keeping all those balls in the air well…we were failing someone.   After Wednesday I firmly believe we will do all these things…but maybe we don’t have to do them all at once.  Have a career, take time off to raise a family, head back out to corporate world, take time off to assist your parents, take time off to travel with your family.  Make choices…no problem.  The only ones you are accountable to is your family.  And your family is job #1.

That may be the largest shift in thinking in my lifetime.  True choice without strings.  So thank you to the Obamas.  For living it, understanding it and helping communicate it through business leaders, researchers, academics and historians.  What a great day!