I’m not sure this one’s going to be very popular.  Because I spent yesterday hearing all about the wage-gap between men and women and hearing how over a career that lost income equals millions of dollars.

And I really think we’re barking up the wrong tree.  Is there discrimination in the workplace?  Yes – of all kinds.  Should that stop?  Yes, absolutely.  But as usual we’re focusing on the wrong thing.  Absolute dollars.  What about the quality of your overall life?  How about liking the work you do and being satisfied with the salary you get?

I’ve been hearing about the wage gap my entire professional life.  And yes, I do think it exists.  But you know what.  It’s just not that relevant to my life.  Blasphemy, right?  But if I keep worrying about what everyone else is doing/getting I could never be satisfied myself.  Which is what Naomi Wolf believes is behind all the studies saying how “unhappy” women are now compared to the 1970′s.  We have been taught to keep going, keep striving, never be satisfied.  So, unless we are equal, have equal, feel equal we are lesser than.  I disagree.  We are only lesser than if we feel we are and I do not feel I am.

Each step along my career journey I was happy with the pay I got for the job I performed.  When I was unhappy, I said something or did something about it.  And if I didn’t…shame on me.

At a networking event last night I met a recent college graduate and he talked about how he didn’t feel he was in the right job.  He was debating whether to move on or to stay and he acknowledged that he felt lucky as many of his friends hadn’t found jobs yet – nearly a year after graduation.  But he just didn’t “love” his job.  He liked aspects of it and admitted he didn’t hate any part of it.  But he felt he should love what he does for work.

All of this reminded me of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.  Where eventually you start striving to achieve self actualization.

But recently I was floored when I learned that Maslow believed only 2% of the population would actually achieve this goal.  I’m pretty sure I wasn’t taught that part in college and I’m guessing the newly minted worker bee I spoke with last night wasn’t either.

Careers and work/life are a long road and if you feel the need to always “love” the job your are in or you always need to be exactly equal to those around you…you are going to spend much of your work/life unsatisfied – craving more balance.    My advice:  make your own deal based on your own reality and be happy with that…until you’re not…then do something about it for you and your own happiness.

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Other interesting work/life tidbits I heard/discussed last night:

1) Person had to take a 1/2 day off during the recent flooding in MA when he worked from home.  This person was monitoring water being pumped from his basement but only by checking in on the pumps for a minute or two every 1/2 hour.  When not checking on the pumps he was working…as he had from home many times before.  He got his work done that day and it was done well – he’s a bit resentful about having to take a 1/2 day…and I don’t blame him.

2) Company that is contracting from lots of brick & mortar offices to become a more virtual workplace just hired a new hire.  The new hire asked to work from home.  They were told “no” for the first 6-12 months.  They needed to come into the office and be “watched” until the company knew they could trust them to work well.

3) CEO of a company wants the company’s working hours to be 7a-5p – end of story.  If you can’t do that, you don’t work here.   FYI – not a retail, manufacturing or any other kind of company.   It hires knowledge workers.

4) Another company says it has a very flexible nature but employees are peer pressured into sitting in their chairs from 8a-5p – come in late or leave early, be tarred & feathered.

5) Spoke with someone who heads a staffing agency.  His workers work on 100% commission and when he started his business he was convinced he would get both male & female staffing people who wanted to work for him.  Turns out, years later, it’s all about the mommies.  Our discussion led to whether that was because his business was so flexible for his employees or whether men preferred the draw against commission model.  Nothing was decided except that I want to explore this more.

6) I explained the difference between workplace flexibility (the examples directly above this) and personally striving for work/life fit, balance, happiness (the bulk of today’s article) to someone I met.  Too often I think people confuse the two.  You are responsible for your own work/life happiness….businesses need to be a flexible enough workplaces to allow employees to meet their professional and personal commitments. Two different, yet inter-related, issues.

It’s that time for me again.  It’s much easier for me to stay inside with the air conditioner on so I can breathe.  But that’s just not practical…nor is it the right thing to do for those around me I care about.  For my little one, the weather has just turned warm and she wants to be outside running around, riding her bike, swinging on swings.  For me, exercise is a large part of helping me monitor and manage and see clearly my work/life fit.  And while my stairmaster and I are good friends…I’d rather be biking, running, walking outside.  So I could hibernate or I could suck it up and do the right thing…which is to venture out sneezing, watering eyes and all.

Recently at an HR conference a corporate HR friend told me that corporate America is “allergic to work/life balance.”  And that rings true to me.  They would rather hibernate and wait for the issue to go away.  Personally I don’t think this issue is going away any more than the seasonal allergies I have experienced since childhood are going away.

Thankfully not all corporations feel this way.  They are in the minority but they do exist and they do the right thing for those around them. Tomorrow I’ll be listening and learning and asking questions and hoping this conversation helps workplaces learn more about how important, effective and easy it is for them to stop being “allergic” to work/life issues.  Join us!

Fem 2.0 Blog Radio- Work/life Solutions for Hourly Workers

Recently, President Obama said that all workers need the flexibility to manage the demands of a job and home and kids. But often, work-life balance is seen as a luxury only for wealthy professionals. As of 2008 some 58% of all wage and salary workers in America were paid at hourly rates. But half of all workers don’t have a single paid sick day. It doesn’t have to be this way- and some companies are doing it right.

Join us on Tuesday, April 20 at 2PM EDT to discuss worklife solutions for hourly workers. Guests Carol Evans, CEO of Working Mother Media and Donna Klein, President & Founder of Corporate Voices for Working Families will discuss the upcoming “Best Companies for Hourly Workers” survey and will share why it’s so crucial for every American worker to have flexibility, no matter what their job is. They will also share best practices from companies that are figuring out how to accommodate hourly employees and flex.

Please join us and send in your questions ahead of time to events@workingmother.com

Tune into the radio show here!

It’s Friday and I’m in a playful mood.  I wasn’t as much last weekend.  And while I completely understand the conversation I had, it got under my skin.  I mean after all, my Dad who loved to debate people for debate’s sake once said to me “Why are you getting your graduate degree?  I mean, someday you’re going to have kids.”  Of course I rose to the challenge and was as indignant and flabbergasted as all of you would expect.  I got my point across but I’m not sure I changed his thinking.

So last weekend I’m at a very good friend’s house.  We are the same age with the same education level.  And the following fascinating line comes out of the mouth of my friend:

“Hey – so how great…you’ve got the nanny full-time but you’re not working…nice, huh?’

Now forget the fact that this business and blog takes up plenty of my time (but you know it’s a “mommy biz” – which it’s not!) and forget the consulting projects I do and get paid for…this friend of mine hasn’t pulled in a paycheck since last May.  He has been networking and meeting with people and having coffee and lunches to set up his next business deal/job.  But he isn’t what would traditionally be called “working” either.

So my response:

“Well you’re not really working either these days and you have a full-time nanny.”

His face showed his shock that I would even suggest that they get rid of the nanny while he’s doing his networking.  I mean after all his wife works out of the house.  Of course they would have a nanny.

The more things change….

I’ve been wondering lately why colleges send us out into the work world with the mindset that we need to be constantly moving, climbing, making more money, getting better titles or we are failing.  Why didn’t anyone stop to tell us that that kind of constant movement simply is not sustainable for everyone?  Both personally and due to forces beyond our control such as recessions and off-shoring and technological advancements there are interruptions in that well taught plan.

Shouldn’t someone be teaching us that ebbs and flows are normal and will be part of our lives?  And we need to learn how to not only go with the flow but embrace the changes and enjoy them.

The good news is that a college professor is talking about it.  Robert Reich’s post “The Future of American Jobs” got me thinking.  Particularly this line:

The only way many of today’s jobless are likely to retain their jobs or get new ones is by settling for much lower wages and benefits.

Which reminded me that it is a fact that most workers will be underemployed at some point in their careers.  And some may even want to step off the treadmill for a bit.  Because let’s face it..it’s not so much fun to settle.  And there are those who do not have a debt problem, thanks to living below their means and saving.  Or those who have worked because they like to work, not because they need the salary.

Shouldn’t society be supporting them to choose whether to settle or to not settle but simply take a break. Or as the media has labeled it “opt out.”  Unfortunately in the world I was educated in and now live, this choice is seen as failure and settling…when in fact I think it may be not only the right thing for some people, personally but also for the economy as a whole.  So as Cali Yost said wonderfully in her post yesterday let’s lose those labels and judgments and embrace the time for the slow (er) lane.  And let’s start teaching our students that this career thing has its ups, downs, starts, stops and that’s normal.  Embrace them and choose your own path..whether that be up, down, sideways or full stop.  Thus making this game of musical chairs in the workplace kinder and gentler.

I’ve talked a lot about how the world of work is broken and the relationship between employer and employee is sadly in need of a make over.  For some a make over may not be enough…they just need to strike out on their own.  Today’s guest blog post from Meghan M. Biro talks about being an entrepreneur.  They why’s, the how’s, the balance of it all.   And why that may be the most important decision you make in business – whether as an entrepreneur or employee.

People come to this blog to hear about the new normal, to get affirmation for their conviction that working in a cube in an atmosphere of distrust is not effective, and to think about ways in which to balance life and work so that no one gets short shrift.  When Leanne asked me to contribute my thoughts on why I chose to become an entrepreneur, it was obvious that this forum is a perfect place to have the discussion. So here goes.

There are many reasons to become an entrepreneur. Maybe that cube is just too small and confining. Maybe the sense that you’re not being treated as an adult, a trusted member of a team, has eroded your trust in the benefits of conventional employment. Or maybe you just always wanted to run your own business.

I chose the path of the entrepreneur because I wanted to make a difference in my work and in my life. I was pretty much born this way. I also wanted to manage my own company, and those who joined me in the enterprise, with work-life balance as a priority. To do that requires an appetite for risk and a commitment to quality. Keeping those forces in balance has occupied most of my time in the past 12 months.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned as an entrepreneur:

§   This life is not for everyone. The costs are not just fiscal but also emotional, and they are much higher than you can anticipate and plan for.

§   While start up costs are a huge issue, quality is equally important. If you can’t commit to running a quality business – putting the business, your clients’ and your employees’ interests ahead of yours on occasion – then find a way to achieve work-life balance while working for someone else.

§   Know what work-life balance means to you. Is it time to exercise? dance? read? Time with the kids? Dinner with the whole family? These are all qualitative, not quantitative, components of work-life balance. Focus on quality and you’re on the way to work-life balance, whether you are an entrepreneur or an employee.

§   If you’ve decided you aren’t a natural entrepreneur, no harm/no foul. Refocus and look for employers with a business model that focuses on quality over quantity.

§   If you decide to be an entrepreneur, be prepared to be alone a lot of the time. You have made a choice to lead, not follow, which means you will be in front of the organization, on an uncharted path, most of the time. Find your peace in knowing you are the guide.

Work-life balance comes to us when we seek it, when we insist on it. You don’t need to be an entrepreneur to find it – you just have to be really sure about what matters most to you.

Celebrate your choices. Commit to quality. Seek balance. Rinse, repeat, and tell us how things worked out for you.

Meghan M. Biro is the founder of TalentCulture a career, branding, and  new media consulting firm focused on connecting the right people with  the right organizational culture. TalentCulture is a diverse social  community that engages in creating and sharing the latest perspectives on finding meaningful careers and using them to grow. They are focused on building a culture of innovation, awareness and understanding.  Meghan believes strongly that culture is very much a part of our careers and vice versa and included in that culture is the work/life struggle and juggle.

I wasn’t planning to blog today…but I just can’t help myself.  The world of work is broken.  I’ve thought that since I landed in cubeland a few years ago.  I tried it.  But it doesn’t really work for me.  After years of being treated like an adult at other jobs…cubeland and all it came with (someone looking over my shoulder, the “watching-the-clock” police, the fact that I was not trusted enough to make my own decisions and prioritize my own work, face-time = hard work) was insulting.

So I left.  And I took a different look at what the bigger picture is.  And in the past two days…I have received validation that this is the way the world of work is going…because people are insisting on it.  Work is part of life and life demands flexibility.  Here are some of the articles I have read that have had me thinking over the past couple of days:

Yesterday I read this great post about looking at the whole and making decisions based on strengths and what’s best for the group.

Today I read about how working in a linear progression seems incredibly flawed and very stifling.

And then there are companies that are helping those of us who have opted out of cubeland to be able to do our own thing because more and more of us have decided that is the way we want to live our lives.

And all of these articles really resonate with me.

So why do I work independently?  Because I’m an adult and would like to be treated as such. Oh an because it’s 4p, my work is done for now and it seems like a good time to go for a run…try that in cubeland!

Now that the euphoria has worn off a bit from last week’s historic summit at the White House on workplace flexibility, it’s time to get back to work. I was very excited about lots of what I heard. But one of the subjects I am passionate about and think is the key to making work work for all…having hourly workers have more autonomy over their time.

And that was talked about in one of the break out sessions…a lot. And the discussion was enlightening. Some in the room admitted that they never would have been able to figure out how to be more flexible for this group of employees by management dictating policies. The good news. The employees understood what was needed both for themselves and for the company to succeed and they figured it out!

Wow. How’s that for trusting your employees, asking for their help and working together to solve a problem? Adults at work…very nice. And adults who are now engaged in a process that leads to better retention, customer service and bottom line results.

What were some of their secrets?

A contingent/temporary workforce standing by to specifically step in for coverage as needed. What a great way to keep those who sort of want to retire or step off the treadmill…but sort of want to work…working. Much like substitute teachers. They get called as needed. They come in if they can.

Ability for shift workers to trade hours as needed with others. Whether this is through a formal software program or a more informal “I’ll cover for you another day if you can help me out today” sort of thing it’s working.

Listening to workers, trusting that they are inherently good and want to help the company succeed, and understanding that life cannot stop just because a shift has begun.

It seems easy enough. But there are many naysayers. And plenty who think this is more of a perk for professionals than an imperative for all workers. Which is why I’m thrilled to be working with Working Mother Media to help get the word out about their upcoming Forum on Hourly Workers where they will announce the list of Top Companies for Hourly Workers and highlight some of the best practices from that group. I don’t know if what I heard during the White House forum will dovetail with these best practices but I can’t wait to learn more.

Especially as many believe it’s too tall an order for shift/hourly workers to be able to get flexibility at work. There are 75 million hourly workers in America and as a popular HR blogger told me recently it simply comes down to either your company values its hourly workforce or it doesn’t. Those that don’t will pay…in turnover and customer satisfaction and ultimately success.

Can the hourly workforce get flexibility? And who are some of the companies we may see on this list come May 4th? I truly do not know the answers, yet. I very much look forward to finding them out.

Finally in honor of Gary Vaynerchuk’s recent announcement that he is re-evaluating his work/work balance, I have two signed copies of “Crush It” to give away to those who comment on this blog post, tweet it out @leanneclc or join the discussion at the CareerLifeConnection.com facebook page.

I needed a day to take it all in.  I’m by heart a bit cynical and I wasn’t sure that a forum on flexibility under the guise of the Council on Women and Girls in the heart of the nation’s capital where laws are enacted because companies and states cannot manage to get the job done themselves would work.

I thought I’d hear a lot about women, about families, about legislation.  But I held my breath and listened.  And smiled and nodded and cheered!

Another reason I wanted to take a day, was that I wasn’t there physically.  I was scrambling to reboot my internet modem in time to hear the opening remarks (doesn’t technology only fail when you are absolutely counting on it).  I was in the middle of final negotiations on the purchase of a new home.  But mostly I was not invited.  And I wanted to see what how those that sat in the rooms had to say.

I’ve been at this for less than 2 years so I can only imagine what Ellen Galinsky was thinking after 30 years work dedicated to flexibility at work.  Thank you, Ellen, for letting us in to see your feelings, thoughts and elation.

I’ve been the only female at more events/business meetings than I can count so I know how Stew Friedman has felt for years.  Wednesday all that changed.  It may be a while before he feels that well connected to everyone in the room again…but how nice.

Morra Aarons Mele lives with the new normal more than anyone I’ve ever met.  The expectations in her house are it’s all hands on deck to work, make money, pay the bills, raise the kids.   This is the future workforce.  She has every right to want to jump for joy. Her generation constantly makes me want to jump for joy…fact.

Finally the opening of Katherine Lewis’s article is what I truly think Wednesday was all about.  This is the new normal.  And it is so freeing for all.  It’s okay to want to take care of your kids.  It’s okay to want to have a big day at work.  It’s okay to choose your family’s health first sometimes.  It doesn’t matter your age, your gender, your career.  This is life.

So I’m glad I took a day.  And I’m really glad I listened in.  Because here is what I heard and it is all a major change in the world of work.

Trust, open communication, accessibility.  Those three themes were talked about again and again.   I mean if you don’t trust your workforce to do the job, why did you hire them?  And if you don’t trust that they can solve problems for your company why are you paying them?  The fact that so many business leaders talked about how flexibility solutions came about at their company because the workers were given “permission” to solve them themselves was wonderful.    Hearing about how employees came up with ways to schedule shifts, cover each other, make sure the work gets done without management solving it for them should be an eye opener to businesses.  Just because you’re the manager doesn’t mean you need to solve it.  You need to hire the right people and help them to solve it for you.  And be there to encourage, assist and listen.

There is no one size fits all solution.  Which I know disappoints companies.  It would be easier to pass one law, put together a workplace flexibility survival kit that works for every HR dept., come up with a company policy to cover all.  It’s just not going to happen.  Sorry.

It’s not about families.  It’s about people.  And people are very individual as are their needs for flexibility.  It’s about furthering education, following passions, being with family and friends, helping others and this is important…being a whole person.  As President Obama said so well.  Work is what you do…not who you are.

Flexibility is for all employees – not a benefit to some.  There is a difference between formal flexible work arrangements which are to be negotiated and basic common sense.  Life happens before, during and after work…and companies who understand that and can be flexible as needed get back so much more from their employees in productivity, loyalty and profits.

Finally I felt a bit of a burden lifted from women’s shoulders.  You see it really isn’t about women.  But I feel like for most of my life it has been on women’s shoulders to make it all work.  We needed to have careers or we weren’t feminist enough, and while having careers we needed to raise our children, and then our parents came by and asked us to be there as needed – and we were needed more than we could have imagined, and if we weren’t keeping all those balls in the air well…we were failing someone.   After Wednesday I firmly believe we will do all these things…but maybe we don’t have to do them all at once.  Have a career, take time off to raise a family, head back out to corporate world, take time off to assist your parents, take time off to travel with your family.  Make choices…no problem.  The only ones you are accountable to is your family.  And your family is job #1.

That may be the largest shift in thinking in my lifetime.  True choice without strings.  So thank you to the Obamas.  For living it, understanding it and helping communicate it through business leaders, researchers, academics and historians.  What a great day!