Comments on: Healthy kids, moms who work and judgments…’nuff now

By: Leanne

Leanne — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:03:17 +0000

Erika – Not only for women who don’t support each other, but for anyone who judges without walking in someone else’s shoes.

Liz – I seriously know of no 50/50 parenting couples. I look forward to that day but I do think it’s a way off. But then again I also don’t know of any couples where the bread winning is 50/50 either. Most I know – the woman has taken a career step back to be more hands on with the kids. The Dad has not – makes 50/50 pretty tough. (And in my case I have a hubby who travels M-Th – making 50/50 pretty impossible)

Pat – Thank you. I, too hope job sharing or meaningful part-time work becomes a reality soon. I would like to re-enter the corporate world at some point…but not as inflexible as it is today.

By: Pat Katepoo

Pat Katepoo — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:58:51 +0000

You’re so clever in capturing the dilemma! Why can’t our lovable and otherwise capable husbands grasp those details? Regarding part-time work, I look forward to the day when job sharing is mainstream. (If it’s in my lifetime.) The position stays full-time and mainstream so that the two part-time employees filling it aren’t marginalized.

By: Liz

Liz — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:45:45 +0000

As a working mom, I agree with most of what you are saying. However, I know lots of terrific dads that pull their weight, and split the parenting 50/50. I also know several more dads who would like to pull their weight, but didn’t have 50/50 role models to follow.

It’s going to take some time to shift historical thinking, but why wait for the rest of the world to catch up? Let’s show our daughters and our sons (future fathers, hint hint) what a true and respectful partnership between mom and dad can look like.

By: Erika W.

Erika W. — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:58:28 +0000

Great post! This reminds me of when I attended a Women’s Conference last year and heard Madeline Albright talk about motherhood guilt & criticizing other women for their parenting/career choices. She said: “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other.”

By: Leanne

Leanne — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:27:05 +0000

Kristen – I do think we’ve come quite a way in the amount of help we get from dads compared to our mother’s generation. But we still have so far to go. And I don’t think we’ve come nearly far enough as far a judging moms goes. Fingers crossed by the time our daughters get there, society will be kinder to them.

Tammy – Absolutely! I cannot imagine all you went through then, nor am I sure I could do it well, now.

By: Tammy Colson

Tammy Colson — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:20:31 +0000

Yay for Guilt Free Parenting!
Only when we refer to them as “working fathers” will the shift begin.

I had an employer tell me once that “we need to give the guy a break, he’s a single father”…. not once have I ever heard that from management about a mother… unless of course it was to say that she couldn’t do something BECAUSE she was a single parent.

By: Kristen Thane Clark

Kristen Thane Clark — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:40:03 +0000

Thank you for this post! We are a society that claims to support equal parenting roles, however, the mother is still the “default” parent. I would love to see a study on how the father’s lifestyle effects his children. My mother recently told me that, as she was struggling to have a career and be a parent, she had hoped that she was helping to make the “working mother” role the norm. Unfortunately, it seems that we have not made much progress, only making it the norm for women to have a career and maintain all of the traditional maternal responsibilities. I can only hope that it will be different for my daughter.