How “Womenomics” Got It Wrong

Or my alternate title “I can’t believe I’m writing this post.”  I saw the Charlie Rose interview.  I read the GMA story online and watched the clip.  I was enthralled. And then I started reading the book.  While I agree with much:

“most educated women don’t want to quit work altogether even if they could” (agreed)
“the situation is so dire that a majority of [women] will opt for less responsibility,” (agreed)
“[women] have more degrees than men do and there is an approaching talent shortage especially of educated workers,” (YES!)
“retention of valuable talent is key in tough economic times” (absolutely).

Some gave me pause:

“Women top every company’s most-wanted list” (really? – I’m not so sure)
“Businesses with more women in sr. positions make more money” (don’t think cause and effect has been proven on this one)
“we [women] have the power to demand that companies adapt to us” (hmmm…I don’t think twisting arms works very well)

And then it happened:

“I think it’s about women, even more about Gen X and Gen Y” (NO!)

So here goes:

For many the epiphany comes with motherhood -  I don’t think so, and I did a teleseminar and have many blog posts about this on my site.  Motherhood doesn’t explain Gen Y who don’t have kids yet, but both men and women in Gen Y demand more flex in their work life.  In fact they feel that work has to fit into their lives, not that their life should fit into work.  That’s a fundamental shift in thinking…and it’s not based on giving birth.  Also, how do you explain the redefinition of retirement for the boomers?  Their kids are grown up.  They don’t have to bend their work lives for kids lives but they are also changing the face of work.  And it’s all not all about economic pressure…they want to keep working.

Finally,  a recent study shows mothers make on average $11,000 less per year than their non-mom counterparts, so I’m not so sure we want that group leading the workplace revolution.  I know I am willing to make less money to get more flexibility…but that’s a personal choice, not one I want to advocate for all.

Women will lead the charge – Workplace Flexibility isn’t about women.  Read the facts and check out the real-life stories I’ve come across like Mike Owcarz who had a nice job at PCRecruiter.  Then his wife got a great opportunity in another part of the state.  He really liked his job, and he really likes his wife and so he had an issue.  He went to his employers, explained his situation, and while both parties were skeptical of how it would work, they all embarked on a flexible work arrangement so Mike’s wife could go pursue her opportunity.  That’s right – they’re Gen Y, and he changed his work situation for her…Boomer and Gen X women are amazed and very jealous! Which leads me to point #3…

Asking husbands to stay home isn’t a solution -  I think this is not a gender issue but a personality issue.  Take this  father for example.  While it doesn’t seem he was asked to stay home…he is…because it makes sense for he and his wife and their family.  The fact that there are blogs, and articles and comments on other blogs about stay-at-home dads tells me that is absolutely a solution people are turning to.

More flex at work lessens mommy “guilt” – Nope, I disagree.  Being honest with yourself and honest with each other about motherhood is the solution.  You are the only one who can let the guilt go…work can’t do that for you.  So let’s all be honest about it…it’s great that we get to go to work and don’t have time to play that 10th game of CandyLand.  Oprah recently had an episode about motherhood that was the most honest I’ve seen yet.  It got a little silly at times…but mom’s were honest with each other.  In “Womenomics” there is the anecdote about the Mom who has a baseball game to go to, but gets the plum project as she’s about to walk out the door and is racked with guilt about it.  My take is that she really wants the plum project and while she loves her kid she knows there will be another baseball game (or 500) but maybe not another project like this.  Let’s be honest that’s the problem.  We want the project.   So skip the baseball game…why not?  I’m not saying skip them all or skip the important ones, I’m saying my parents didn’t come to all my athletic events and it wasn’t that big of deal.  So let go of the guilt, it’s all within your control.

We can have it all – I agree that we can…I just don’t think parents (note, I didn’t say “women”) can have it all, all at once.  Again I think if we’re honest with ourselves we would love to be working at the same clip we did when we were younger.  Learning and growing constantly with new challenges coming to us constantly.  As a mom I simply couldn’t handle that right now…as much as I’d like to, I’d fail miserably as the mom I want to be while working at that pace.  As my child grows and changes so will the amount of professional responsibility I can take on. I look forward to all those stages yet to come!

There are no “mommy wars” – I definitely disagree on this one.  I don’t like them, I try not to participate in them, I think everyone’s choice is their own and we should celebrate the fact that we have a choice but there is a bit of a schism between stay-at-home moms and working moms.   I’m still mad at myself for letting the words “well, then again, you do work” get to me at my child’s last birthday.  You see apparently we now have to celebrate our kids birthdays multiple times instead of once like when I was a kid.  I was going to forgo the make-your-kid’s-birthday-a-big-deal-at-pre-school until another Mom I was talking to said that phrase.  I can’t believe I let it get to me and let down my guard enough to do the silly pre-school cupcake thing.  (Oh and when the cupcakes were store-bought…I heard that phrase, yet again!) So the mommy wars do exist…we just need to opt out of them if we can.

I’m glad I bought the book and I’m glad I read it.  There is a lot of great information there to use to forward the revolution for workplace flexibility.  And I certainly encourage everyone (men & women) to read it and see what they think.  But I also think changing Corporate America is a tall order…and it can’t be done by just 50.7% of the population.  It needs to be an “all hands on deck” sort of effort with people understanding each others’ needs and working together.